Page 37 of When in December

He barely got the question out before I said yes.

I couldn’t believe how perfect it all was. With him, I felt like I was living like I’d always imagined—not too late and not too soon. I wasn’t just living in other people’s dreams at work every day, coming up with wallpaper design plans or what the best countertop would be to match someone else’s cabinets. I got to work on planning our apartment. More than that, I got to work planning our wedding from the second I could and never felt so alive.

We set a date before the end of the month.

One night, he came home to his apartment, where I was already setting up for what had turned into weekly movie night.We each took a turn picking our favorites, even though when he chose after a long day of work, I usually fell asleep. Though I often did that during my picks too.

I did this time, too, only I was gently shaken awake.

“Sorry, did I fall asleep?” I asked.

“Poppy.”

I adjusted as I looked up at him. When I glanced at the television, the credits were already rolling. “Linc?”

“I, um, I want to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” I said. Still, he didn’t say anything. “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, of course I am. This wedding we’re planning?—”

“Is it too much?” I asked. I knew it was. “We can scale back. Say the word. I got a little out of control with the plans, but the venue and dress aren’t paid in full yet.”

I had gone with my mom two weeks ago. At first, I’d wanted something big and poofy, but ended up with a simple, sleek dress with small, embroidered flowers that looked a little like poppies around the bust to the waist. Traditional with a hint of modern elegance. I loved it.

“That’s … good, Poppy.” Lincoln looked away from me, back to the television.

The movie started over again at the beginning.

“Tell me what you’d like. When I started planning, I told you that I get a little overzealous with things, but I want to make sure that you’re incorporated,” I reminded him. “What do you want at our wedding?”

“I think I want a break.”

I pushed back to look at him. Was this a joke? My heart pounded in my chest while the rest of me felt numb as I looked at him.

“We’re getting married, Lincoln.”

We were getting married. Weren’t we?

“I think we should see other people,” he continued. “I think I want to see other people.”

“But I thought …”I thought you loved me.“What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, Poppy. I just don’t think I can do this.”

“Tell me what upset you or what’s going on so that I can fix it.” I could fix it after all. I was good at fixing things if I knew the issue.

“I just …”

“What, Lincoln?”

“I didn’t realize how much I wanted kids until now.”

I blinked. “We talked about kids.”

“I know we did.”

“I want kids too.” I tried to let loose a sigh of relief, but it was like my body knew better than to let me.

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