Page 49 of When in December

As if to prove my point, the dog stumbled through the snow back in front of me, looking behind my frame, as if in search of someone.

I shook my head, taking a deep breath until I could feel the frosty air hit my lungs.

Vassar was Oz’s handler. Those two were stuck at the hip, and Oz made sure everyone knew it.

He thought he was the shit.

And he was.

But I spent just as much time with Vassar. Though Barrett and I had been good friends since high school, Vassar became a part of our team soon after. He had been a scrawny kid, especially in the beginning. You couldn’t count on him to have your back in physical training for the first year, but, God, he was always funny.

“Why do you think they gave me the dog, Hayes? Think they can trust you?”he’d teased me.

Oz twirled around me once more before coming back to stand in front of me.

I bit the inside of my cheek, shaking my head. “He’s not here, Ozzy.”

He continued to stare.

We’d had this conversation already a few times now. The first time, I’d tried to get him to stop looking around like he was missing something. The second time—maybe that was the real reason why the Army had given the dog to calm, cool, collected Vassar, who liked to do extra work and study strategy and best team habits in his free time.

When emotions came to shove, I never could keep a completely clear head.

Luckily, even when I’d screamed about how Vassar wasn’t coming back after I got out of the shower and saw Oz waiting for me, the dog had looked at me like he’d expected nothing less.

Just like everyone else who seemed to know me better than I knew myself.

I was a broken soldier who couldn’t handle anything anymore. I almost wanted to agree with them unless I was going to follow through with what I’d told Barrett last night. I wasgoing to push through this and get out of this funk I was in. Then, I was going to get cleared. I was going to get back to being what I had been.

WhoI had been.

When I had first joined the Army, I’d thought the service was my only option, but it quickly became all I’d ever been and wanted to be. I was no longer just Aaron Hayes, the kid who was decent at sports and could get by well enough in school.

My job. My position. My team had made me whole.

Even if I wasn’t sure, without Vassar, I’d ever fully be exactly who I’d thought I was again.

“Yeah, I don’t know how the hell you managed to survive when he didn’t.” I wondered the same thing about myself. Sometimes, if I thought for too long about it, I could convince myself that this all was all just some kind of fucked-up dream.

“Come on.” I waved a hand for Oz. If he was done frolicking around like a bunny, we might as well go back inside, where it was warm. “Inside. I still need to go and get you some treats or something, bud. You’re retired now, you know?”

Walking alongside me, Oz jumped into the mudroom and shook off.

I seethed. “You’re going to make an enemy out of the homemaker, too, if she catches you doing that.”

Oz sneezed.

I shook my head as I walked through, pausing in the kitchen when I heard the water running. I watched the homemaker stumble as she turned to the door outside.

Toward me.

Poppy stopped in her tracks as if caught. Her eyes were wide, like a deer in headlights. Her pale face dipped down to the towel she had wrapped around her hand.

Now, my eyes were wide.

I took two large steps until I was standing directly in front of her. “Are you bleeding?”

Her lips parted before pressing closed again, as if she was suddenly angrier than she had ever been with me. She didn’t answer.

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