Page 119 of When in December

I stared at her, wondering what she would do if someone spoke to her like this. If she would suddenly jump up and shout for joy after failing?

Again.

“Can you make it out of here this evening safely? Would you like me to call you a car?”

I shook my head.

“Go home, Poppy. You’ve done a lot of good work. Get some rest and come back ready to jump in one hundred percent like I know you want to. Good things come out of it. That I can promise. Because you do have talent. Right now, however, I think it’s your job to take some time for yourself and have a wonderful new year. Have a good rest of your day, and thank you for taking this time to talk so vulnerably with me.”

I swallowed, standing up. “Thank you.”

I made my way back to my desk, and the cubicle I shared with Hannah felt tinier than I remembered. I sat down before I could turn off the monitor and pull my tablet into my bag like I should’ve, doing what was expected of me. But I knew what would happen if I did. I would pack up and sling my heavy bag over my shoulder and turn off my desk light on the way out. I’d try to call Hannah, though I knew she was going through her own stuff, and I shouldn’t bother her. I’d walk home or catch the bus at the nearest stop. When I went inside, my mother would ask me a million questions, knowing I’d heard back about the promotion that she always assumed I’d receive.

How couldn’t I after all?

I’d given so much time. So much effort. It almost felt like I’d given everything I had left of myself.

I wasn’t ready for any of it.

So, I did what I always did.

I got back to work, opening my email and checking through upcoming appointments for the next project I’d be on as an assistant to another senior designer.

twenty-nine

. . .

Aaron

“Here we have the kitchen.The entire place was recently renovated and refinished by the wonderful Home Haven, right in the city. Design choices were made to create an authentic yet timelessly elegant cabin experience.” The realtor prattled on as she walked through the house, casually letting her hand slide against the countertops or wave toward the new appliances like she was on a game show, displaying the prizes.

The woman had had a constant purse to her lips, like a duck, since she’d walked in the door. She had yet to let go of her husband’s elbow. It didn’t surprise me, considering the first thing she’d asked when she arrived was the likelihood of gray wolves.

Gray. Specifically.

If Poppy were here, she would’ve jabbed her elbow into my ribs for how hard I rolled my eyes.

But she wasn’t here.

She’d probably never be here again. I’d let her leave.

“Hmm,” the potential buyer hummed. “The cabinets are a little different in color than what I was expecting.”

“We’ve worked with Home Haven clients before.” The realtor persisted with the couple. “The designers are often willing to make a few alterations to make sure that the interior is to your liking as well, if you’d like me to make a few calls.”

The whole kitchen hadn’t even been done for a few weeks. The cabinets were barely used, and they were already going to change the color of them.

“It’s a littlewoodsy.” The woman giggled, suddenly happier now that the realtor seemed to be speaking her language. “And if we’re making changes—that’s all right, isn’t it, honey?”

“If we decide on this retreat from the city,” her husband agreed.

“Then it’s a bit dark in the living room with the—what is it? Dark green paint?”

“Another simple alteration. Not to worry.”

“Wonderful. I want something bright and airy. Our home is a crisp white in many of the rooms. Makes the other colors pop.”

Just like that? Without pausing to consider the rest of the place and what had been put together in such a short time, they were going to change it all.

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