Page 115 of When in December

“I hope so,” Poppy replied. “Though I gave my mom a rough time after I graduated from high school.”

“I can’t imagine that. From what I do remember, you were always a hard worker. Confident in who you were.”

“You must still be thinking of some other girl from high school who had an obnoxious crush on you.” She shook her head. “And that was before you left. After high school, I was … a bit lost. I started college at a great placement, but it was hard to move forward when I ended up having to drop out because I was in so much pain, which no one wanted to explain or take seriously. Eventually, I felt like everyone thought I was faking it, even my mother, who tried to be positive about the whole thing, which only hurt me more. I felt like a burden,” I said.

“Do you still think that?” I asked.

“Sometimes.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Wow.” She smirked. “Cured me.”

“Not that easy?”

She shook her head, but the two of us were both smiling.

“Happy with how everything turned out?” she asked me.

I took a deep breath, seeing the way her eyes flared as if she already knew what I was going to say.

Let me be happy with you, I wanted to say.

But I didn’t. I didn’t deserve to. I couldn’t ask that of her when I knew that she’d even said she chose work over relationships—and this wasn’t even a relationship. This was just …

As if sensing my thoughts, Poppy whispered with a shake in her voice, “Is this really it?”

I took a deep breath, clearing my throat as my fingers trailed along her cheek. “That was always the plan, wasn’t it?”

And if there was anything Poppy did, it was sticking to her plans.

“Professional, right?”

She shook her head. “Threw that out the window long ago.”

“We did,” I said, voice dipping.

For a house so full of people, it was so quiet. There were only the soft breaths that passed between us since night had fully fallen.

In my bed, as we lay next to each other, it was as if we were the only people in the cabin. In the woods. In the town. In the state. It was just me and Poppy. I liked it. I liked it more than I ever should have.

It looked like Poppy was thinking the same thing, forehead furrowed.

“Stop thinking,” I whispered against her cheek. I pressed another gentle kiss there.

She shook her head. “You don’t even know what I’m thinking about this time.”

“Yes, I do,” I ventured. “But I’m going to tell you what you should think about now.”

“Okay,” she said, staring directly at me. Waiting.

“Good,” I replied, buying myself some time as I thought. “Because what I’m going to tell you is that after today, everything is going to work out. I’m going to …”

I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do.

I continued anyway, lying through my teeth with the truth of a good lie. “I’m going to get my leg sorted and see if my body’s still worth something.” Somewhere, even if it wasn’t here anymore because I wasn’t sure if there was anything for me here after all this.

I didn’t know if I wanted to stay to find out if there was anything left here for me either. This house held too much. The memories of how I’d first arrived here. The moment I left. The moment I came back, more broken than I ever had been before, only for a woman to walk in and startle us both back to some kind of life.

---