Page 12 of Dancing With Desire

“Let’s get the scan done and we’ll know exactly how he or she is progressing,” she says with a smile. “Also, I think it would be a good idea to refer you to the prenatal mental health team so they can keep an eye on you,” she adds. “Just because you mentioned self-harm. Stress is no good for the little one and having that extra support is key.”

I nod, knowing she’s right. Without Dmitry there to help me, the urge to self-harm again might return, and the nurse would be stupid not to take me seriously.

I swipe angrily at my tears. “I saw a therapist for some time,” I mutter. I need her to understand that I was prepared to make changes to better myself. I sit up and straighten my shoulders before continuing. “But it didn’t work out as we had a difference of opinion. She believed I had an emotionallyunstable personality disorder. I don’t. I just have a messed-up past, and the way I’ve dealt with that was self-harm. Talking helped and I’d like to continue but through this practice and this doctor.”

She frowns, scanning her eyes over the computer screen. “I can’t see anything here in your medical records.”

“No, it was private, and when I disagreed, we cut ties. I don’t think we even made a full session,” I lie, knowing full well that conniving bitch made no notes on my real medical record.

“Okay, well, I can get the doctor to arrange that for you. Take a seat in the waiting room and the doctor will call you when he’s ready.”

“Thanks,” I say, standing. I make my way to the door. “And thanks for being so kind to me.” Because, lately, I don’t feel like anyone but Phoebe is being genuine.

The nurse also smiles. “Of course, Tori.”

We go back to the waiting room and sit down. I release a long breath, feeling the earlier tension leave my body. “You did good, Tori,” Phoebe says, rubbing my arm affectionately.

“What if something’s wrong with the baby?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” she reassures me. “But if that kid is anything like you, it’ll be strong.”

My eyes fill with tears again and a lump forms in my throat. “What if the baby doesn’t have a heartbeat?” I whisper, covering my face with my hands. I feel my panic rising again.

Phoebe places her arm around my shoulders and hugs me to her. “It’s normal to feel like this, I’m sure. It’s your first baby and you don’t know what to expect. But it’s all going to be fine.”

“Maybe Dmitry should’ve been here,” I say, my tone panicked. “I didn’t know I’d be having a scan today, and he’d want to be here.”

“Right now, he doesn’t matter. Give yourself time to get over what happened. Forgiving him when you’re emotionally drained might backfire when you feel better again.”

“Miss Harding,” an older gentleman calls from a doorway.

I stand, brushing away tears as I head over. He holds out his hand, and we shake. “I’m Doctor Rogers,” he introduces with a smile.

“I’m Tori,” I say weakly.

“Follow me.” We go into a room and the lights are turned down low. He gestures for me to lie on the bed. “Let’s get this scan done so we can see how your little one is coming along. Lift your top for me, Tori. I’m going to place this cold gel along your abdomen so we can get a good look at what’s going on.”

I do as he asks while Phoebe sits in the chair beside me. He runs the gel along my stomach and then places the camera over it. He stares at the screen, and my heart is in my mouth. It feels like forever before he turns the screen to me and increases the sound. The doctor smiles as a whooshing noise fills the room. “That is the sound of a very healthy heartbeat.”

I give a small laugh, and it’s mixed with a sob, but this time, they’re tears of joy. All my anxiety is released just by hearing my baby’s heart beating.

He points to the screen. “Can you see this right here?” There’s a flickering, and I nod. “This is your baby’s heart beating. Everything looks perfect. You’re measuring at ten weeks and three days.”

I’m speechless, and so is Phoebe as we both stare aimlessly at the screen. After a few minutes, the doctor wipes away the gel, and I sit up, pulling my top back into place.

He hands me a printout of the scan, and as I stare at the grainy images, I can’t help but smile. I continue to stare at it as I leave the practice and get into the back of Marshall’s car.

“Everything okay?” he asks, eyeing me in the rearview mirror. I glance up to nod before returning my gaze to the picture.

“All good,” Phoebe offers. “Baby is healthy. We just need to fatten her up,” she adds with a laugh.

DMITRY

Kat’s isbusy for an afternoon. It’s also the last place I want to be right now, but I need to keep up appearances so my father and Vivian don’t get wind of my tactics to take them down.

Not only that, but it allows me to concentrate on something other than obsessing over Victoria.

Marshall had called to notify me she was seeing a doctor today. He mentioned she’d been reluctant to have him take her, but she also didn’t like the idea of being out and about without protection, so she relented when he offered to drive them. The fact she took Phoebe over me is just another way for her to distance herself. I honestly expected her to call by now.

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