Page 11 of Dancing With Desire

“I hope you’re right.”

“I should get back there,” he adds, standing.

“Do you think she’ll let you back in?”

He grins. “Yep. She looked terrified when I went to leave.” His smile fades when I narrow my eyes in annoyance.She’d rather Marshall there than me. “I mean, she’s just all over the place, boss. I’ll stick around until she’s feeling less jumpy.”

I give a nod. “Send me a picture,” I add.

“A picture?”

“Yes, Marshall, a fucking picture,” I snap. I need to see her, even if it’s not face-to-face like I crave.

He leaves, and I head for the dungeon. Being in there makes me feel closer to her somehow. I sit on the bed and pull out my mobile, flicking through pictures of her. She doesn’t know I have them as most were taken when she was either blindfolded or preoccupied. I run my finger over one of her laughing. It’s my favourite because she looks happy, and I realise it was taken beforetheybegan twisting things.And before she took the life of another.

My phone beeps and Marshall’s name comes up. I open the message and it’s a telephone number.

Marshall: I forgot to give you her new number. She didn’t want you to have it.

I save it under ‘Krasota’ and open a new message. It might be a mistake, but right now, I need her to know I’m thinking of her.

Me: Krasota, I miss you so much. Forgive me. D x

I wait a few minutes but receive no reply. I’m not surprised, and I didn’t expect one. It doesn’t mean I’ll give up, though. When Marshall texts me again ten minutes later and the picture of her sleeping form fills my screen, I relax. She’s safe. She’s alive. I am grateful.

TORI

Itwist my hands together as my stomach turns in knots. Phoebe reaches over and grabs my hand, offering a weak smile, and I take a steadying breath, trying to calm myself.

“Everything will be okay,” she reassures me. I look down at her hand holding mine and tears threaten to fall.

“Miss Harding?” shouts the nurse from the other end of the waiting room. I push to stand on my unsteady feet, and Phoebe is right behind me as we follow the nurse along a corridor. We stop outside a room, and she opens the door for me to go inside.

“Good morning,” the nurse says as she lowers into the seat. Her soothing voice settles my nerves, and I smile.

“Morning,” I offer, my voice wavering slightly.

“I’m going to take some rough notes before the doctor comes to see you. Is that okay?” I nod, looking down at my hands as they rest in my lap. “Do you know how far along you are or when your last period was?”

I try to think back and realise I can’t even remember my last period. The past few months have been a complete whirlwind, and it makes me realise how stupid and irresponsible I have been. “Erm . . . I have no idea, I’m so sorry.” The wobble in my voice must give me away, and she reaches across the desk to give my arm a gentle squeeze. “I discovered I was pregnant when I got admitted to the hospital for—” I begin to choke up again when the realisation that I’d self-harmed so badly while unknowingly pregnant hits me. My heart aches at the thought of harming myself to the point that we would no longer be here, neither of us. I place my hand over my mouth as a choked sob escapes.

Phoebe places her arm around me. “She had a self-harm incident, and the hospital discovered she was pregnant. She doesn’t really know much more. As you can imagine, her frame of mind wasn’t in the best place then and it’s taken a while for her to come to terms with it. The baby wasn’t planned,” Phoebe finishes for me.

The nurse reaches over with a box of tissues, offering me one. “Okay, not to worry.” She then types some notes on the computer. “We can get a scan sorted to confirm your dates.” She smiles. “You’re in safe hands here, Victoria.”

“Thank you, and it’s Tori,” I whisper.

“I also want to take some bloods and check you over physically to make sure you’re okay. You look very pale and tired, and you may need some extra vitamins, like iron. Is that okay?” I nod, because right now, it’s all I can muster.

The nurse takes my bloods, vitals, and checks my height and weight. I’m so thankful Phoebe is here, reassuring methroughout it all, because I’d hate to be doing it alone.Alone.I hate that word, but that’s what I am. My mind wanders off to Dmitry. He’d want to be here, I know he would. And deep down, I want him here too. Even though I’m angry with him, and I’m questioning my decisions about everything involving him, I still miss him.

The nurse pulls me out of my haze. “Okay, so your blood results will be sent to you via text message in a few days. They will give us an indication of whether you need any further medication such as iron or vitamin D. I suspect you might, because you’re quite underweight. Were you aware?” I give a slight nod. “Are you eating well?”

“Sickness,” I mutter with a shrug.

“I’d like you to focus on eating the right foods, so they sustain you and the growth of that little one inside. I’ll need to monitor you closely over the next couple weeks to make sure you’re putting on weight and taking good care of yourself.”

A tear falls from my eye. I already feel as though I’m failing my child by not looking after myself. “Will the baby be okay?”

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