Page 98 of It's Always Us

“Yes.”

Linda’s head falls to the side slightly, her brow scrunched. “You married Seth?”

I shake my head, needing to keep paddling through this and not get sucked into the current of avoidance. I want to head straight for it, but I can’t.

I focus on Bree’s confused face. “Actually, I couldn’t marry Seth because I’ve been in love with someone else for a very, very long time.”

She pushes her lips to the side. “So . . . you didn’t love Seth?”

Kids’ blunt questions have the ability to make you feel like the biggest jerk in the entire world. I glance at Linda, and she’s watching me and listening carefully. “I cared about Seth, but not in the way I should if I was going to marry him.”

“But you love someone else like that?” Bree asks. Her gentle curiosity makes me smile.

“Yes. I’ve loved him pretty much since the day I met him, which was a long time ago.” She smiles, and I notice she’s missing a tooth. “And we’re having twins.” I run a hand over my stomach as her eyes grow wide again.

She claps her hands and hops in place. “You’re having twins! I can’t wait to babysit them.” I drag my eyes to Linda, who’s as still as a statue and growing a bit pale. “Mom, can you believe it? Alex is having twins!”

Linda shakes herself free enough to offer a small, fabricated smile. “That’s . . . amazing news.” She squeezes Bree’s shoulders. “I’m . . . going to check on dinner and make sure it’s not burning.”

She scurries away to the kitchen as Bree grabs my hand.

“Come on. You’ve got to see my art project. I finished it today.” She tugs me down the short hallway to her room and lifts a small, misshapen clay pot. “I used a purple glaze, and my teacher put it in the kiln.” She holds it up, supporting it underneath with her hand. “I’m going to put all my colored pencils in it. Mom said I could get new ones. If we make something else, I can make something for the babies.”

“That’s very thoughtful. They’ll love it, I’m sure.” I sit on the end of her bed while she sets it back on her small desk and shuffles a few things around. “Hey, Bree,” I say, wanting to make this quick.

She turns around, her dark braid falling over her shoulder as her fingers squish some kind of peapod fidget toy.

“I’m going to be gone for a little while, but I want to remind you that if you ever need me, you can call me anytime. It doesn’t matter day or night, ok?”

“Where are you going?” Her sad tone spears my chest.

“The man I married . . . he doesn’t live here, so I need to spend some time with him, but I’ll be back.”

“Will you be back for my dance recital?” She peers up at me with so much hope that my throat grows a little tight.

“I’ll talk to your mom and find out when it is. I’ll do my best.”

She plops down beside me. “Are you moving?”

It’s the question I ask myself a thousand times a day, and all I can do is answer her honestly. “I don’t know. Right now, I’m . . . taking it one day at a time.”

She’s quiet for a long moment, her lips pressed together, thinking hard. “If your husband doesn’t live here, you should probably be with him. Your babies really need a daddy. I wish I had a daddy.”

I put my arm around her, hugging her close and resting my chin on her head. “I know, sweetie.” I let out a long, slow breath. “It doesn’t matter where I am. We’ll still be best friends.”

She peeks up at me. “Always?”

“Always and forever.”

She beams. “If you have to move, maybe I could come visit you sometime.”

My stomach kicks me in the throat at the idea of explaining all of this to Mark, and suddenly, the past doesn’t seem so far away.

Linda peeks her head around the doorway. “Dinner is ready.” Her tone is soft and uncharacteristically cool.

We follow her to the kitchen, where dinner is waiting on the table. We sit, and Bree bounces in her seat, filling all necessary dinner conversation with school, dance, and everything under the sun while Linda contributes little. When dinner is finished, she reminds Bree to finish her math homework. She hugs me and leaves us to do the dishes.

I hand Linda the plates, and she sets them in the sink, but instead of rinsing them, she turns to me.

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