Page 96 of It's Always Us

I try the shin-length, tight-fitting dress in my preferred color wheel.

“Yep. Definitely a winner. We should see if they have this one in other colors.”

And this is how it goes for an hour. Eventually, we move on to fancy dresses, needing one good enough for the awards, where I’ll be surrounded by supermodels wearing designer gowns.

I groan, taking a seat in the wooden chair in a horrible emerald lace dress. “Krissy, I’m done.”

“Not now. We’re so close.” She steps inside with two more dresses. “Up, I’ll unzip you. One of these is it. I have a feeling.”

“You said that about the last eight dresses.”

“You can’t show up in a tank and unzipped jeans. The women will be showing the goods in shimmery gowns.” I slump down in my chair. “What’s wrong?” She leans against the side of what has become the dumping ground of unwanted clothes.

I could tell her I’m tired. It wouldn’t be a lie. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept well and have been up all hours of the night staring at the ceiling. It’s given me a lot of time to imagine what this weekend will be like.

I want to see Mark. Each time I talk to him, I miss him more. I can tell he’s stressed about turning down the Liberties offer, which I can’t help but feel guilty about. Now, we’re headed into bright lights, and I’m not sure what to expect.

“This weekend will be . . . a lot. The cameras and attention. Mark is used to that, but I’m not.” I pick at the ugly dress. “I’m not made for fancy clothes and crowds.”

“But you’ll be with Mark, so it really doesn’t matter if you fit in. You fit with him.”

She makes it sound so simple. I let my head fall to the side. “Yeah, for the weekend. Then what?”

Krissy hangs the last two dresses up and takes a seat on the floor across from me, leaning back against the wall. “What do you want to happen?” Her soft tone eases the swirling in my stomach.

I raise and lower one shoulder. “He wants me to go back to Phoenix with him, and part of me wants to. To see what it would be like. I want us to have time and a chance to really be together, but I can’t just sit around while he trains and . . . ”

I inhale and let it out slowly. “He gave up an amazing deal because he knew I’d hate New York, and even though he’ll never admit it, he’s worried about finding another team. I feel like a total jerk. I’ve never wanted him to give anything up for me.”

“Alex, he walked away from the deal. It shows how much he loves you and wants you to be happy. He took a really big risk because he wants you with him.”

She pulls her knees to her chest. “I don’t know a lot about relationships, but I know they’re scary. Sometimes, we have to risk it. The world out there is terrifying. Change is terrifying, but regrets are a thousand times worse than the fear of the unknown. Those suckers we hold on to forever and torture ourselves with what-ifs.”

“So, just go back to Phoenix? Leave the shop, my job, the guys . . . Grandpa. What am I supposed to do?”

She smiles. “Spend time together. See what life is like with his training schedule. Go out to dinner and hold his hand. Make out anytime you want. Go on vacation.” She shrugs. “You have a few months before you’ll have two babies that will need all of you all the time. Maybe put your feet up and love on the guy you’ve waited so long to be able to.”

She grabs a hanger, twisting the hook around and around. Her tone shifts down to a sad whisper. “I don’t think it’d be that bad to have someone who’d do anything to be with me.”

I stare at her and her downcast face. I don’t know all of her and Slade’s story, but I know enough to know those words are filled with pain. And . . . she’s right. It’s pretty damn amazing what he did for me.

I lean over and hug her tight. “Ok. Hand me those dresses. Please, God, let one of them be good enough.”

“Good enough? Honey, it needs to be drool-worthy.” I groan, and she swats me in the butt with a shirt. “The entire football community is waiting to get a glimpse of you. If women are going to hate you for stealing Mark’s heart and having his babies, then you should look fabulous while you’re doing it.”

______

“What in the hell is that? A coffin?”

I drop an oversized suitcase in the middle of the living room and unzip it. “Want to get in and test it out? If it doesn’t work, I have another in my truck?”

“Who taught you to be a smart ass?” Grandpa asks, settling in his recliner for dinner and news. “Damn, girl. Did you purchase an entire department store? You better tell Mark he needs to charter a cargo plane.”

I perch on the edge of the couch. “I forgot my phone, but I’m heading to Linda’s for dinner.” One overgrown eyebrow raises as he stuffs the corner of his sandwich in his mouth. “I need to talk to her, but I also want to tell Bree I’ll be gone for a little while.”

“Really?” he mumbles through a mouthful. “You’re telling her?”

I shrug. “After this weekend, it’ll be no secret.”

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