Page 93 of It's Always Us

He slaps me on the back. “I’ll be in touch. Have fun next weekend.”

We’re greeted by the frigid wind and part ways. A plane is waiting to take me back to Phoenix. I need to be in the best shape of my life and have my arm working better than ever.

Rob said we have a hill to climb. I’ve got mountains. I need a team that wants what I have to offer and to convince my wife that the only place to be is with me, wherever that is.

______

I rest back on the bench, my lungs burning. The early morning breeze flowing through the open door is cool against my damp skin.

“You sure you should be working out this soon?” Sean’s voice comes out of nowhere, and I sit up, wiping my face with the hem of my shirt.

“Where the hell did you come from?”

“I’m on my way to our last practice. I thought I’d stop by and see if you made it back. I heard you turned down a goldmine.”

I stand and move on to lunges. “There’s not a chance in hell Lex and my babies are going to sit around the city while I play ball.”

“Babies?” Sean’s brow scrunches.

I grin, but it takes effort. “Twins.”

“You bastard. Does Shane know?”

I shake my head, pushing my breath out as I lunge again. “Just found out a few days ago. I’ve been busy turning down millions and trying to get in desirable shape. Rob says I need to parade around this weekend, showing I’m good as new.”

“Twins. That’s . . . incredible.” His wide eyes and loss for words are like all my thoughts, spinning around in the dark, trying to find which way is up. “What’s with the sharp attitude? This is amazing news.”

I push up and take a rest before the next set. “Too much in my head. This sitting around waiting to see if anyone wants to pick me up is torture. I’ve worked too hard to be here.”

“But you walked away from the deal.”

My temper spikes, and I fist my hands. “I know, and I’d do it again. I’m ready to move on, and that’s not the place for Lex. I need her with me. I want to see my babies grow.”

Sean leans up against the weight rack. “Where is she?” I side-eye him. He freaking knows where she is. “So, you getting out of New York will change that?”

“I fucking hope so. It’s all I’ve got!”

Sean crosses his arms. “Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”

I drop my head, my temper flaring into the red zone. I breathe through my nose, knowing he’s not here to piss me off. “What are you talking about?”

“You look like you want to punch something. I know walking away from that deal had to hurt, but you did it for the right reasons.” He pauses,but I give him nothing because I don’t know what he’s looking for. “Lex isn’t here, and that’s clearly a problem.”

“Bro, what do you want from me?” I hiss.

Sean, the annoyingly sensible and calm one, doesn’t even flinch. “I want you to tell me why you’re pretending to be He-Man and melting down like a teenage drama queen.” I grab a dumbbell, but he steps in front of me. “Stop. You’re gonna break what they just fixed. Out with it, or I’ll call Shane, and you’ll have to deal with his gruff, no-nonsense coach tone. You know he’ll drag it out of you literally if he has to.”

No, thank you.The last thing I need is Shane barking at me and telling me what to do.

I sit on the bench and rest my head in my hands, trying to figure out where to start. “This is what I want. I want a chance to start over with Lex.”

I stare out the garage door. “Football is all we had. It’s all I’ve had, and it’s what got me through. I possibly just kissed away my career. Pissing into the wind, hoping she’ll come with me wherever I go.” I wipe sweat from my brow. “I’m not ready to be done, and she’s hell-bent on taking care of herself.”

“And that surprises you? When we were in high school, she worked in that garage and studied harder than anyone else. She did it despite how difficult it was for her. Who else have you ever met that was that determined?”

Memories of finding Lex in the garage before school zip through my mind. She’d be fixing something or sitting at the workbench trying to piece through a history book. She was determined never to let anyone see her struggle and worked night and day to get a full-time spot in the garage.

“Uh, us . . . but we didn’t struggle every day to read the playbooks or have people constantly treat us like we were stupid or didn’t belong. Wewerethe football team. She still struggles with reading and is a woman working in a man’s world. Cal said she’s convinced no one will ever hire or work with her.”

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