Page 82 of It's Always Us

Chapter 25

MARK

My knee bounces next to hers as she absently scrolls her phone, with an empty pee cup resting between her legs.

She’s shutting down on me. I can feel it. She’s right here, but miles away. The timing of this meeting in New York couldn’t be worse, but according to Rob, I don’t have a choice. I either need to sign with the Liberties or let them know I’m seeking other offers.

I know what I want. I want out of the city and an offer from a decent-standing team I can take to the Super Bowl, but I have to hear what they’re offering. The Liberties organization has been good to me, and I need to give them the courtesy of telling them no to their face and explaining why.

The door swings open, and a woman enters with a car seat slung over her arm. A baby with soft pink cheeks in those footed, zip-up jammies is tucked inside.

A warm sensation crawls through my chest at the idea of that being us. Lex and I. My stomach squeezes with pressure and the deep desire to get this right. I don’t want to be in one place and Lex in another. I don’t want to watch my baby grow from afar. Being gone so much during the season will be bad enough. When I get home, I want them there, where we can be together.

My knee bounces harder, and it gets Lex’s attention. She side-eyes me, but that’s it. Her silent, retreated tendencies are about to send me into a grown-ass meltdown.

“Alexandra.”

Thank God.A technician waits for us, and we follow her back to a small, darkened room.

“I’m April. I’ll be performing your ultrasound today.” The woman zips around the room, keeping pace with my nerves. She gestures to the table. “You can climb up here, and Dad, you can have a seat.”

Dad. More sitting is the last thing I need, but I put my ass in the plastic chair as the pressure of it all pushes past my limit.

Lex sits on the table, still looking like she doesn’t need me, and it stings.

April pulls her file while I try not to be suffocated by my anxiety. “So, you’re around fourteen weeks. This is your first ultrasound?”

“Uh, yes. I know I’m a bit behind.” Lex’s hand reaches for her ear.Ha. Gotcha. I catch her and her nervous habit. Feeling a little less alone, I scoot my chair closer.

The technician smiles while I’m about to jump out of my skin.

“Well, let’s see who you have in there. Hopefully, the little one cooperates, and we’ll get some good pictures,” April says, holding Lex’s file and a pen. “Do you want to know the gender when it’s visible?”

“No,” I blurt out, and Lex’s head snaps in my direction. Then, the corner of her mouth tips upward, but just barely. We didn’t discuss it, but this baby is the absolute best surprise of my life, and I want to keep the surprises coming.

Lex lays down and pulls her shirt up to her ribs while April squirts clear goop on her stomach. My eyes dart to the small screen on the wall, waiting, but all I see is black with white streaks as she rolls the wand back and forth.

My heart bangs against my ribs, threatening to beat all the way out of my chest. I move to the edge of my seat, having no idea what I’m looking at but knowing it’s something.

April takes her time moving the wand around from one spot to another, only the sound of my pulse filling the silence. April’s long, quiet perusal forces me to my feet, and Lex’s instincts must be on high alert because she reaches for me.

I grip her sweat-slicked hand, and when her eyes meet mine, they’re alive with fear. I bring her hand to the middle of my chest and hold it there. Her eyes flick between mine as her hand tightens its grip. I try tosmile, wanting her to know everything will be ok when I have absolutely no clue that it is.

“This is your first ultrasound, correct?” April asks, again in confirmation, but still in that calm, chipper tone.

“Yes,” Lex answers, her hand squeezing mine even tighter. I’ve been scared before, but this moment shreds all those fears to dust.

“You see this right here.” April gestures to the pointer on the screen. “It looks like . . . ” She moves the wand around some more. “You’re having twins.”

Some kind of noise comes out of my mouth that might sound like I was being held underwater and yanked back up for air.

Uh . . . what?I feel a little woozy. I might need that chair after all, but Lex’s hand falling limp in mine, spurs me to remain standing.

April rolls closer to the screen and points. “See right here. This is Baby A.” She taps away on her keyboard, telling us she’s taking measurements.

I squint, seeing it. The head and tiny, little feet, and two hands. I look down at Lex, and a tear falls out of the corner of her eye.

“Is it ok?” Lex asks, her voice shaky.

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