Page 4 of It's Always Us

Every muscle throughout my body constricts, and I turn to face him, stopping him before he says it. “Grandpa, this is happening. This is what I want.” A sour taste fills my mouth with those five words, my stomach in full revolt.

He doesn’t look at me, likely knowing I’m full of crap. He releases a long exhale through his nose, and there’s that slight whistle that’s always there.

“Sometimes, the comfort and reliability of a Buick seem like a safe bet, but a Mustang . . . it’s where real fun and living happens.”

I stare at him as he pushes away from the bar. The man who’s raised me, at least where it’s counted most. The one who knows me better than anyone. He just had to do it.

But this is what I can’t handle right now. I can’t have him putting thoughts in my head that don’t belong there. Thoughts that haven’t belonged there for a very long time. I’ve never been able to rid myself of them no matter how hard I try. Thoughts I don’t have space in my head for, especially tonight.

The rotten old fart drops a bomb of wisdom and leaves me standing here as he heads back to the fresh trays of cream puffs and crab cakes.

He just had to say it. He had to put it out there.

I glare at his back as my dress suddenly shrinks around my chest, and my need to flee escalates.Where in the hell is Seth?!

I move toward the doors leading to a small deck needing fresh air.

I push into the cool night air that’s filled with the overwhelming stench of cigar smoke.

“Alex.” Seth’s voice catches me off guard. He stands off to the side, surrounded by his college buddies and their ladies. “Come here and hang out with us.”

My feet stay put as I glance over my shoulder at the party inside that’s for us, yet we’ve spent the whole evening apart.What’s new?

My positive attitude hits rock bottom, and my desire to be here evaporates like the billowing smoke around me. Tired of me not listening, that little voice of my innermost being screams.This is NOT what I want!

Seth takes another puff of his cigar and closes the distance between us. He leans down to kiss my cheek, and the smell is repulsive. I wrap my arms around myself as my skin breaks out with goosebumps at therecognition of what’s happening—of what’s been happening that I’ve chosen to ignore.

“We’ve been catching up.” He shrugs off his jacket and places it around my shoulders. One of his arms comes around me and pulls me toward his friends.

I join their little smoke-filled group, trying not to breathe while an unspoken war rages within me.

Buick. Mustang. Buick. Mustang. Buick. Mustang.

As the Buick talks next to me, I can only think that the Mustang is long gone. My heart sinks yet again to the toes of my overly-priced and horrendously uncomfortable shoes.

“So, Alex, does this mean we all get free oil changes when we’re in town?” One of the guys asks, pulling me from battle. When I realize who said it, it’s accompanied by a smug smirk, like it’s some kind of joke.Pompous dick.

“It’s buy ten, get one free.” My voice is quiet as my mind spins with sudden awareness.

The women in the group giggle like I said something funny, and Seth’s arm slides around me. “Alex runs the shop. She’s got guys to handle the dirty work.”

I’ve got guys to handle the dirty work?I might actually vomit. I’d change oil every day for the rest of my life as long as I don’t have to sit behind some computer or work in an office.

This isn’t new. These comments, the condescending little jokes, and this weird type of protectiveness as if I need help to explain the work I do because it can’t possibly be serious. I guess I’m finally hearing it all loud and clear.

What the hell have I been doing?

A chill runs up my spine as heat consumes me. I try to breathe through the smoke and the vice cranking tighter around my ribs.

It’s not my problem these people are too close-minded to think a woman might genuinely enjoy fixing things—like cars.

It’s time for me to go before I melt down and make a fool of myself in front of people who really don’t care to know me other than I’m becoming Seth’s wife.Seth’s wife.I’m not even sure who that’s supposed to be because I’m afraid it’s not me.

I’ve been a flight risk for the past two hours, but my timer just went off.

“I have a valve cover leak waiting on me,” I announce to no one in particular, pushing Seth’s jacket off my shoulders and handing it back to him.

He frowns. “What? You’re leaving?”

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