Page 25 of It's Always Us

Her eyes finally drag up to meet mine. “I didn’t want to just leave this time.”

“What?” My cold sweat turns into full-on panic, and my heart starts sprinting while my legs remain still.

“I guess we should’ve thought this through.”

My words are tossed back at me, and I know she heard.Fuck.Fuck! FUCK!I close my eyes, wholly inadequate to handle this when my ass needs to be in a car on the way to the stadium in thirty minutes.

“Lex, what you heard—”

She stands, shaking her head, her eyes trained on the floor again. “I have to go, and you have a game to win.”

I quickly step in front of her, blocking her exit. “So, you’re just going to go, disappear like you did last time?” I see the slap of my words on her downcast face.

I step toward her, wanting to take it back, but my anxiety shoots through the roof and is freefalling. “I don’t want you to go. I want you to go to the game. I want to know you’re in the stands.”

Her tired, bright blue eyes meet mine, but I can’t read the look on her face, and I hate it. I used to be able to tell everything she was thinking.

I push through the blood pooling in my ears and the sweat collecting in all the places I just washed. “Then I want you to meet me back in New York. I want to be with you.” I don’t even try to hide the desperation in my voice, knowing my time is ticking down.

“But none of that is going to happen.” The surety of her soft words strikes me right in the throat. “I’m going home, and you . . . have a game to win. I don’t want to be a problem or a distraction or whatever else might cause you to have more regrets.”

I jam my hands into my hair, unable to handle the pressure of needing to get this right with everything else that’s crashing down on me. My chest constricts, and my hands shake.

“There’snopart of me that regrets this. That’s not what I meant.” Her head drops again, and I move my unsteady hand to bring it back up. “Lex, that’s not what I meant. There’s a lot that’s going on. I have to make it into the playoffs, and then . . . ”I don’t know!

Her eyes flick between mine. “I think maybe we got ahead of ourselves. We got caught up in the past, not thinking about all that’s changed. We’ve changed, and our lives are . . . separate.”

My lungs quit working, and I suck in air, but it’s painful. “Shit! No! Don’t do this!” I pace with the need to fix this, but I don’t have time, and the reality is neither of us can stay. “I love you.”

Her quiet voice has me frozen. “Maybe it’s not enough. Maybe it never has been. Maybe that’s why it took eight years for us to get here, realizingthat too much time has passed and everything has changed. We’ve changed, and our lives are so far apart.”

The defeat and sadness in her voice is like a hand being shoved straight through my chest.

“I just need time to figure this out. I need to get through this season and then—”

She reaches for her backpack and throws it over her shoulder. “It sounds like you just need to get through today.”

I grab her face in my hands, desperate for her to hear me. “This isn’t over. This wasn’t a mistake. I don’t have a single regret except for not coming back for you sooner. I need you.” Maybe if I keep saying it, she’ll hear me.

She doesn’t move, her eyes holding mine. Then she pushes up on her toes, kissing me. Gently, softly, and then she swings her arms around my neck, pulling me close. She hugs me tightly. So damn tight and doesn’t let go. “Go win this game.”

I wrap her up, wanting every moment of this to seep into my body.

All I can do is release her as she pulls away, her eyes holding mine. One side of her mouth tips upward, but only barely. Then, just like that, she opens the door and is gone.

I want to run after her and carry her with me wherever I go, but I can’t. I have a team and an organization depending on me to carry us through to the playoffs.

But this isn’t done. I don’t know what happens now, but Lex and I will be together.

______

SHANE: Shit, Mark. What’s this about you getting married?

MAGGIE: Did you get married? Were you drunk? Shane’s about to blow a gasket. *Laughing face emoji*

SEAN: LOL. Did you get married? Are you lashing out?

SEAN: Bro, what’s happening? You better answer.

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