Page 19 of It's Always Us

I want to throw my phone against the wall and watch it break into a million pieces. Hope. That’s what got me through. Hope that somehow I’d have Lex, but she told me there’s nothing left.

Done with it all, I power off my phone and toss it somewhere on the bed. I curl into a ball and try to find sleep so I can at least be great at the only thing I have left.

______

I open my eyes to a pitch-black room, trying to remember where I am. It only takes a second for it all to return like a nightmare I still need to wake from. I stretch my stiff body and pat around on the bed, hunting for my phone to check the time.

When my fingers locate the slick metal device, I power it back on and wait for the incoming load of messages I’ve missed, except for the only one I still want.

It’s ten ’til six, and I should eat dinner. I quickly scroll, making sure I don’t miss anything important.Ha. Important. That word has a whole new meaning.Alerts about recent emails and reminders pop up. Then, social media notifications fill my screen. I have messages from a couple of the guys about the game tomorrow. And then Maggie, the sister I’ve always wanted.

Shane married Maggie under unusual circumstances and then fell madly in love with her. Now, Sean is building a family with Andie and her son. The two of them have everything I want, and it’s a fist to my windpipe.

MAGGIE: Let us know you’re ok. Please, for me.

Another knife to the gut.

ME: I’m good. Sleeping. Preparing for tomorrow.

I toss my phone to the side and rub my eyes, needing calories and to hydrate, but food is the last thing I want. I have tape I should be watching and plays I should be visualizing, but all I can do is lie here, dreading everything that comes next.

Closing my eyes and letting the darkness settle around me again, I hear my phone buzz. I ignore it. It buzzes again.

Dammit!Why won’t everyone leave me alone?

I search for my phone and tap the screen, lighting it up.

UNKNOWN: Where r u?

UNKNOWN: Exactly

I sit up so fast warm blood rushes through my head, and I see stars. The messages were sent an hour ago.It can’t possibly be, can it?I stare at my phone in shock, my heart racing with disbelief. My fingers shake as I try to figure out how to reply. I keep it simple, praying it’s her.

ME: Who is this?

I wait for the three dots, but nothing, and then after ten minutes, they still don’t appear. A hundred hours later, a relief so great washes over me that it brings tears to my eyes.

UNKNOWN: Alex

UNKNOWN: Here.

My head spins around my pitch-black room as if somehow she’s actually here.Shit.My phone buzzes in my hand.

UNKNOWN: Vegas

I push off the bed and onto my feet, trying not to fall over while I get a clue as to what to do.

She’s here. Lex is here. How? Why? Shit!

I don’t care. She’s here and not there. She’s not there with that suit-wearing . ..

I quickly text her where I’m staying and my room number. Luckily, team security is still with the team in New York, or this would be a whole lot more complicated. I turn on a light and survey my room, realizing all I can do is wait.

So that’s what I do. I wait and watch my phone for every minute of the thirty minutes until I hear the light knock. I sprint to the door and don’t even bother to look in the peephole before throwing it open.

Her long blonde waves fall over her black zip-up hoodie, her blue eyes hitting mine with the force of being sacked and knocking the wind out of me.

I don’t hesitate to grab her and pull her to me as the weight of a lifetime of longing lifts. There can only be one reason she’s here, and it has to be because this isn’t over.Wearen’t over.

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