Page 157 of It's Always Us

“Popcorn and lots of candy. You can’t watchStar Warswithout a sugar high. You’ll miss stuff.”

She grins. “It’s a date,” she giggles, and I can’t help but smile.

“It’s the only kind of date you’ll ever be having.”

She rolls, laughing, and I tickle her side. “Goodnight, Breezy.”

I pull her door closed and step across the hall to find my pregnant wife sitting up in bed eating.

“What is that?” I smell dill, and I know pickles are involved.

“The leftover pasta with pickles on top.”

“That’s just gross.” I flop onto the bed beside her.

She presses a hand to the underside of her belly that’s sagging a little lower each day. “Ugh. I don’t know how much longer they can stay in here. They’re out of room.”

I wrap my hand around her thigh. “Only two more weeks, then they’ll inject you with drugs, and you’ll pop them out of there.” She groans. “I can’t wait to watch the whole thing.” I wiggle my eyebrows, forcing a grin rather than spilling into the pool of fear that’s growing around me.

“How’d Bree take it?” she asks around a mouthful, snatching me off the ledge.

I roll to stare up at the ceiling. “She’s ready to step in and be a full-time parent in my absence.” Lex laughs, her belly jiggling. “She’s all mature and well-adjusted, and I’m like a spastic nutjob. Peyton and Eli will probably be better off.”

She runs her fingers through my hair. I need her to do this every night, but if I sign with Denver, her fingers will be here, and I’ll be there. Alone. Again.

“These babies are the luckiest to have you as their dad.”

“I’m going to miss so much of the first months.” My ribs suddenly shrink, and I have to sit up a bit, or else I might suffocate. “Lex, seriously. I’m terrified to say yes, and I’m terrified to say no.”

She sets her mostly empty bowl aside and slides her hand into mine, linking our fingers. “Remember when I came to Phoenix to tell you I was pregnant?”

“Baby, I won’t ever forget that.”

Her thumb runs over my knuckles. “You asked me if I trusted you.” She lets that hang a moment, and I wonder where she’s going with this.

She moves closer, resting her head on my shoulder. I breathe her in.

My eyes burn, and my throat is so tight I hold my breath. I can’t help the constant voice of my sucky past that tells me leaving is a mistake. To stay so I won’t lose her again. That ugly voice jabs, ‘What if it’s for good this time?’

“Hey.” Her soft whisper pulls me from my dark thoughts, and I have to blink away the fear that’s crept from my gut into my eyes.

“Yeah.” I manage to choke it out, but only barely.

“Do you trust me?”

Shit.She shanks me in the chest and punches me in my already spasming throat.

She lifts her head to look at me, but I can’t bear to meet her eyes. “I know last time, I broke something precious. Something that’s not easily repaired, but I really hope you know this is different.”

When I don’t move, she grabs my face, forcing me to look at her.

“When you call me tomorrow night, I’m answering. When you call me the next night, I’ll answer again. And again. And again. When you get through with camp, you’re coming back here, and we’re having our babies.”

She releases my face, and my lungs are paralyzed. “When the season starts, your little Tasmanian Devils and I will be standing on the sidelines before the game and waiting for you after so we can go home. It doesn’t even matter where that is.” She pauses, sniffing and swiping at her cheek. “Wherever you are . . . that’s where our home will be.”

I slide my arms around her and haul her onto my lap, which takes effort, but needing to hold her. Her tears run down my neck.

“I need you to trust me. I promise you can.” Her words are shaky but honest and true.

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