Page 131 of It's Always Us

“Pal, you didn’t give Mark any say in this. Might be time he had one. You need to talk to him. Not talking will get you nowhere you want to be, and you need him. Maybe he needs to hear that.” He rests back in his chair like he’s finished, but I know this man. His final word is coming. “And you need to not hide from his anger. This won’t be the last time you hurt him or piss him off.”

There I have it. He’s done now. I can’t argue with facts.

I have fought for Mark. All this time, I’ve been fighting, but I haven’t been fightingwithhim. I never gave him a say.

I keep thinking if I give him time, he’ll lower the guardrails and let me back in, but Grandpa’s right. I don’t have the luxury of sticking my head in the sand, waiting to see if he’ll trust me enough. I need him. I can’t fight alone anymore, and I don’t want to. Maybe he just needs to hear that.

Chapter 39

MARK

I shove my gear in my duffle and then toss some clothes in. I need this visit to give me something to go on.

I met with the Kings, and even though the meeting was promising, Rob’s heard nothing. My trip to Houston was just as I expected. They’re rebuilding, and it’s a mess, but if an offer comes through, I may not have a choice if I want to play.

I sit on the edge of my bed and scroll through my phone, sifting through rumors. None of which are even remotely accurate. Now, Seattle called, and their private plane will be waiting for me in the morning.

I flick to my contacts, my finger hovering over Lex. I want to call her, to hear her voice, but the last thing she needs is my lingering anger. I know she’s tired, and I hear her worry and stress. I want to be the one to take it away. I just don’t know how when every time I think about her ghosting me and why, I’m in desperate need to beat the shit out of something.

I hear my door slam. “Yo, bro.” Sean’s voice carries through my house, and I fall back on the bed.

“Get your ass out here.”

Shit!Shane’s bark is always worse than his bite, but his directness is not what I need. It might push me over the manic ledge I’ve been hanging on these past weeks.

It doesn’t surprise me that they’ve both shown up after not responding to their texts and calls, but I’m pretty damn sure I don’t want to hear what they have to say.

I drag myself from the bedroom and into the kitchen, where they’re loitering. Shane rests against the counter, his large arms crossed over his chest. Sean leans over the island, his stare is softer.

I met Sean at the training facility the day after I dropped Lex off at the airport. When I told him about my mom and Bree, he remained quiet, likely sensing I was on the verge of exploding, and he chose not to pull the pin. Now, he’s called in reinforcements, and I have no doubt we’ll be here until they’re satisfied with my course of action. The problem is I don’t have a plan, and I’m not really interested in them helping me develop one.

I pull out a stool and sit, not offering to start this conversation.

“You done sulking now?” Shane’s tone is a little gentler.

I set my phone on the counter along with my elbows. “Man, I’m not sulking.” I’m angry as hell, and he’s an excellent target if he wants to push.

Shane’s head falls to the side. “Oh, you’re not. You want to tell us why you’re here and not with your wife. Why your ass isn’t back in Ohio doing exactly what you know you should be doing?”

“I can’t do this.” I shut him down, standing and they both step in my direction. “What do you want from me? I’m angry. I’m so fucking angry I can’t see straight!”

Their demeanor relaxes slightly as if they think we might be getting somewhere.

“I can’t go there. I might literally kill someone. One person in particular, and then you two will have to pick up the pieces. All the pieces that belong to me.”

“You’re sure as hell not acting like they belong to you,” Sean states matter-of-factly.

I roll my eyes, shaking my head. “She waltzed her strung-out, drunk ass into Cal’s shop and ruined the best, most important thing that has ever happened to me! It wasn’t enough to sit stoned out of her mind while my dad beat the living shit out of me. To watch me burn alive as he held my hand over the stove or say nothing while he’d see how many hits I could take before I had no fight left.”

My fists ache to make contact with something. “She walked her baked-ass in there and stole the only thing that ever mattered to me. The only thing I’ve ever fucking needed!” My jaw is clenched so tight I’m surprised it doesn’t crack.

I sit back down on the stool, collecting myself before I do something I regret.

“Get up.” I drag my eyes to Shane’s, and his dare me not to. “Stand up, Mark, and lift your shirt.”

I stay seated. One dark eyebrow arches slightly, and I know he’s two seconds from lifting me out of this seat, and we both know he could.

“You had those words permanently engraved on your skin for a reason. And you weren’t wrong. They weren’t a lie. Not even a little bit. Don’t you see that?”

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