Page 57 of It's Always Us

I follow her through the sparsely decorated bright white space and enter a large open kitchen and living room filled with people and kids. I instantly recognize Sean off to the side, holding a crying baby. A woman stands rocking another baby back and forth while kids run loose everywhere.

“Alex?” I hear someone say my name and realize it’s Sean. His brows are pinched tight, eyes zeroed in on me.

“Hi,” I squeeze out through my quivering vocal box but then go back to surveying the space being overrun by children, Styrofoam darts, pizza, and ice cream.

A boy soars by with a large Nerf gun, turning to shoot across the room as he dives to the floor. A little girl hops up on a stool, shoving a spoonful of melted ice cream in her mouth as Shane’s large body pops up from behind a couch. A teenage boy sits in the middle, scrolling his phone, completely unfazed by the chaos.

Shane sends off a round of darts, a couple targeting the petite woman’s behind as she turns to shield the baby.

“Shane, you’re going to pay for that,” she warns, and I see one side of his mouth hitch up as the kid fires a round back at him. “All right, boys, that’s enough!” she yells, but her eyes are set on me.

Shane freezes, staring at me as darts bounce off his chest and fall to the floor. The room suddenly turns quiet, except for a spoon clinking against the bowl and a snorting noise coming from one of the babies.

The heat of a million suns takes up residence underneath my skin, and sweat may roll down my face at any moment.

“I think . . . I’ll wait for Mark outside.” Needing immediate air, I don’t wait, turning to make the short trek back out the way I came, but I take two steps, and WHAM!

Something wet and sticky explodes and runs down the front of me. The smell is so strong my nervous stomach heaves, and I gag.

“Teddy!” A chorus of voices erupts behind me, but all I can do is try not to make it worse with vomit.

Then I hear him. “Lex?”

That voice. The one that instantly makes me melt into a giant pile of goo, believe that the world is good, and that everything will be all right. I need earplugs. I can’t read or write well, but for this task, I need to not be able to hear.

Just his voice makes me want to fall into him and stay there forever, continuing to put off reality, but I have to be strong.

I remain frozen in place, distracted by Mark’s voice instead of whatever is all over me.

Then, he’s in front of me. His arm is in a sling, wearing an open button-down shirt, and that face I’ve never, ever been able to resist.Crap! Don’t look at him.

“Shit! What the hell is that?” His face scrunches with repulsion, and I try not to heave.

“Mark, you said shit.” I hear the little girl from behind me.

“Sorry, Liv. I’ll give you a dollar later. Teddy, do I even want to know?” he asks, peering around me.

“Probably not,” a young voice says. “I’m sorry . . . whoever you are.”

“Are you Mark’s girlfriend?” the little girl asks.

The silence is deafening as I try to breathe and not puke all over the floor.

I break my ‘No Looking at Mark’ rule a second time in desperation. “I’m going to throw up if I have to stay like this.”

“Shit. Right.”

He grabs my hand. Now, two rules have been broken. I will my body to not to react to the tingles rippling through me at the warm security of his hand around mine.

He takes me down a dim hallway, passing a few doors until we reach the last one. He pulls me into the room, kicking the door closed behind us. He faces me, staring, while I try not to breathe through my nose or touch any part of my top half.

Holding my breath doesn’t work because when I inhale again, the strong acidic smell overwhelms me, and my stomach cramps again.

“Shit!” Mark rushes forward, gathers my sticky, rancid-soaked sweatshirt with one hand, and tugs it up over my head.

I gag again as he yanks me free of the shirt that smells close to death. I straighten, trying to swallow down the bile in my throat and wiping my eyes with the back of my wrist, hoping they’re clean.

When my blurry eyes clear, I find Mark’s eyes on me and the size of truck tires.

---