Page 48 of It's Always Us

He glares, that hint of amusement remaining, and somehow, it’s as if he sees right through me. This is what happens when you work with each other every day, and they actually care about you. They call you out and make you face your fears, regrets, grief, heartache, and all the other suckass things we’d like to avoid. Forever.

I hug myself tighter.

He drops his bottle to his side, gripping the neck with two fingers. “I don’t have to date to know when someone’s being stupid.”

I let my head fall to the side. “I’m not being stupid. Just sometimes, things aren’t as easy as they seem.”Like, ever.

He adjusts the hat on his head. “Seems pretty simple to me. I thought you might need a brown paper bag in there. How much longer are you going to keep this up?”

“Slade, there’s so much—”

“None of that is a factor anymore. You’re letting it be a factor.” He points his bottle at me. “It’s time you quit hiding behind the past.”

While I want to punch him, that annoying little internal voice pulls out a pen and my list of fears to cross reference with Slade’s accusation.I’m not hiding. I’m married. Ha!

I want to be totally and completely pissed at him, especially today, but Slade and I have been friends for too long. This is him caring,andpart of me knows he’s right.Damn him.

I had my reasons for letting Mark go before. I’m not sure they’re even remotely valid anymore. That’s what I need to find out. But like I told Mark, I’m terrified out of my mind.

“You know, I could say the same to you,” I smirk, twisting the cap back on as his eyes burn holes into me. “Maybe it’s time to let the past go. You might even be able to find a smile in there somewhere if you did.”

He grunts, his fingers scratching at his neck. I just turned the uncomfortable tables and pointed them back at him. It’s me caring about him, too. He’s big, overprotective, and grumpy, but he’s the only kind of brother I’ll ever have.

“Who’s letting the past go?” Krissy steps into the kitchen, pulling a bag of chips from the pantry.

Slade lifts his bottle, but his squinty eyes remain on me.

“Oh, I was just telling Slade that it’s time to let his rough and rugged, I-have-no-feelings persona go and think about taking a dip into the dating pool.”

Krissy’s head tips back, laughter bursting out. “Date? Him?” She points at him, and I might be dead wrong, but I think I see a hint of red behind that dark, trimmed beard. “Slade would have to let go of all of his strict-ass rules, routines, and requirements. Women want a man with a sense of humor and who . . . let’s go and laughs now and then. No one would put up with all that gruff, grouchiness. Seriously, I’m pretty sure he sleeps in a garbage can.”

“I don’t want a woman,” he growls. “I’m perfectly happy alone.”

“Ha. Keep telling yourself that, bro. No one who walks around grumbling and cursing as much as you do is happy.”

I can’t help but laugh as Krissy dumps the chips in a bowl. It feels good and a little like hope bubbling up.

“Are you staying for dinner?” she asks me. “We decided on pizza.”

I shake my head. “No, I have to leave in a few. I’m having dinner with my mom.”

She widens her eyes at me, grabbing the bowl off the counter. “Bummer. We could set up a dating profile and list him.” She tips her head in Slade’s direction. “Big, grouchy, hard-ass mechanic seeking mannequin.”

I put my hand over my mouth to hide my laugh, but I can’t.

Slade looks at her from underneath his dark eyelashes, thoroughly unamused. “Krissy, I think it’s time for your ass to move out.”

She laughs and leaves the kitchen, the bowl of chips on her hip. “Ok, well, at least thenI’llbe able to date and sleep around and not have you scare them off or listen to your lectures every five minutes.”

His head tips back, and he runs a hand over his face. “She’s going to kill me.”

I push away from the counter. “Maybe it’s time you let her move out. It’s going to happen one of these days.” I point my plastic bottle at him this time. “And thenyou,big guy, as scary as it is, just might have to get a life.”

I grin and leave him grounding out a string of foul words that have something to do with him owning the house and already having the life he wants.

I say goodbye to the guys and Krissy, spending the twenty-minute drive thinking about Mark, everything Slade said, and the little one growing inside me.

I pull in front of the row of townhouses, and my phone buzzes next to me.

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