Page 44 of It's Always Us

“Yes.”

“You have no idea how much I want you here with me, for you to be a part of this with me. I don’t even care anymore. If I win this next game, I’m getting you tickets, and—”

“It’s ok. I’m watching.” I bite my lip, forcing the tears to retreat.

“I know I’m asking a lot, but if you’ll come, I want you here. I don’t care anymore about what happens after this season.”

“Mark, we both know that’s not true. Finish this season out and—”

My phone vibrates in my hand, and this is it.

“Lex, I’ve gotta go. I promise I’ll call you. Things are going to be ok. I’m working on it.”

I grab the magic life-changing stick and hold it up so I can see the results. “Mark,” I exhale.

“Yeah?”

My voice cracks despite my best efforts. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

There’s the briefest moment of silence between us. Then he says the only thing I need to hear.

“I love you, too.”

Chapter 13

MARK

LEX: *voice message*Hey. I wanted to tell you good luck today. I wish I could be there.Pause. Remember that time when we stood in the middle of our high school field, and you’d just lost the game to the Panthers? I told you one day you’d make it all the way. Mark, you did it. I knew you would. You should be so proud of what you’ve accomplished. I am. I’m proud of you. Go get’em today. I’ll be watching.

______

SEAN: Good luck today, bro. I expect to see you in two weeks.

ANDIE: Two weeks, Mark. We want to see you two face off.

SHANE: Don’t get your ass sacked. Stay on your feet and protect your arm.

MAGGIE: I’m so pissed I’m not there. Get those boys running circles.

______

Eight. I was only eight years old the day I was yanked from our trailer and taken to the hospital with a concussion, dislocated shoulder, internal bruises, and a slice above my eyebrow that took twenty stitches to close up.

I lay on the hospital gurney, listening to the nurse through the thin curtain talk to some lady from Child Protective Services. I didn’t know where I would sleep or end up or if it would be worse than what I’d just been taken from.

I was terrified and tried to ignore the unknown, envisioning some superhero breaking into the hospital and stealing me away. The ones from the comic books I’d hide behind a box shoved in the closet. I imaginedthem taking me to a place where I never had to be afraid or worried again. It isn’t what happened.

All I knew was watching my mom cut a line and snort it, or drink herself unconscious. Each time, I was terrified she’d never wake up. Or sitting next to my dad while he drank and injected himself with whatever he could get off the street. He introduced me to pain.

He dragged me through our small trailer and threw me against the wall enough times I no longer felt it when it happened. I’d become numb to the only world I’d known, but then I was tossed into a new one where I had no idea what to expect. It was almost more frightening than going back to the only life I knew.

It took years before I could sit in a room and not wonder where the next blow would come from or fear that I’d wake up and find myself right back there or somewhere worse. Trusting people wasn’t something I did. Until two boys just like me moved into the group home I ended up in, and we found football. It changed everything.

Now, I stand surveying the stadium filled to capacity with fans, expecting me to help my team claim the division title. I close my eyes listening and remembering laying in that hospital bed, thinking I didn’t even have a chance.

I jog to my place on the sideline and listen to the tones of the anthem, taking it all in.

Then, there was a girl who believed in me. Who told me I’d make it all the way and then stepped away so I could—the same one who’s waiting for me now.

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