Page 26 of It's Always Us

ANDIE: You little shit. Are you trying to one-up us?

SEAN: Babe, I’m down for creating a new scandal with you.

MAGGIE: STOOPPPPP!

MAGGIE: No more scandals. I don’t have time to kick anyone’s ass.

SHANE: Good luck getting out of this one.

Chapter 8

LEX

Stepping into the house, I’m grateful Grandpa isn’t home and will probably be gone all evening playing pool and watching football with friends at the bar. I drag myself up the stairs and into my little room, my tiny place of peace and solitude. It’s been my home since I was fourteen when my mom left Ohio to move to Florida with the momentary man of her dreams. Since then, it’s been Grandpa and me, but tonight, I’m glad he had somewhere to be. I need a minute before his subtle interrogation begins.

After a long, hot shower and using every ounce of water in the tank, I crawl into bed, needing to sleep for the next week. I grab my phone and power it back to life to check the score.

I want to watch the game, like I’ve secretly watched every other game of his career, sometimes over and over again, just to see him. But seeing Mark’s face on the screen will only force me to dissect all the emotions I packed up and carried back home with me.

From his side of the conversation this morning, I heard how important this game is, but by the distraught tone of his voice, I know it’s more than that.

It wasn’t just his words, but that tone told me there’s so much going on in his life that I don’t know about. It all made me realize we don’t know or understand each other like we used to. We’ve lived worlds apart. How could we?

I said vows to the man I used to know, the one I said goodbye to at eighteen so he could chase his dreams. At one time, we knew everythingabout each other, but this morning made it clear that not only has time passed, but we now live in separate worlds.

I’m afraid we got caught up in who we used to be, and I’m not sure how we make up for lost time . . . apart.

I can’t bring myself to think we made a mistake or to regret marrying Mark. I can’t. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of and still everything I want.

My phone buzzes to life with notifications. I have two voicemails. The first is from my mom, which I can’t listen to. I have no doubt her words are filled with concern for my future, disguised as her checking on me.

The next is from Linda, which I’ll ignore for now. I’m sure it’s about scheduling dinner, but it’s a conversation I can’t handle tonight and just another reminder of all that’s happened in the last eight years.

KRISSY: Come over. The game is on.

KRISSY: These guys smell.

KRISSY: Save me.

There’s only one person I want to talk to, but he’s currently a little busy. I click on the app, find his team, and see that the New York Liberties are leading in the third quarter. Relief washes over me even greater than I imagined.

It’s always been my fear that I’d get in Mark’s way or hold him back, and I have no intention of doing either now.

I pull the covers over me, settling for whatever tomorrow brings. One thing is for sure. Life will go on. It always does.

Only this time, as I fall asleep, it’s with the hope that my future will include Mark.

______

I blink. My eyes take in the early darkness as my pillow vibrates. The buzzing stops, and I roll over, pulling the covers tighter around me.

Just before I reach the land of suspended consciousness, my stupid phone starts buzzing again. It’s too early to talk to anyone. I hold the pillow tighter around my head until I realize I can’t breathe and surrender. I search for my phone, hitting the button to silence it, but before I drop it, the name on the screen is the one I thought I’d never see there.

I swipe to answer as my heart stutters and sends my stomach swirling with nervous anticipation.

“Hey,” my sleepy morning voice croaks out.

“If you didn’t answer your phone, I seriously think you would’ve seen my head explode and all the little brain particles drift into the atmosphere.” I bite my lip, trying not to smile at Mark’s dramatics. “Where are you?”

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