Page 43 of Loving You

Lucas grunted. “Jules. Yeah.Him.” He clenched his fists on top of the table and began to rock gently back and forth. “I hate him. I hate that he’s still fucking up your chance at being happy all because he sucks.”

“Language,” Bronx said weakly, knowing full well Lucas was going to ignore him. “And this isn’t about him. Not really. Monty’s young, Luke. He’s really good-looking and a lot of fun, and I’m…not.”

“Dad—”

“You know I’m not. I’ve been the annoying, overprotective stick in the mud for all your life. Before Dad?—”

“Jules!”

“Beforeheleft,” which was as far as Bronx was willing to concede just yet, “you and I were barely speaking.”

Lucas went quiet for a long moment. He reached up, rubbing at his eyelids, which knocked one of his prosthetics sideways until it righted itself after a few blinks. “I thought I was in the way back then. I’m not saying you made me feel that way or anything, but you never talked to me. I could feel the tension at home. It was obvious that Jules never wanted anything to do with me. I mean, I figured that out before I went to boarding school,” Lucas added with a small scoff.

Bronx’s heart twisted in his chest. He’d fucked up so badly. How could he ever make this right?

“Part of me wanted to be out of the way so maybe you two could be happy. But then I’d come home, and there was just…silence, and I could tell it was like that for you while I was gone. He didn’t talk to me. You didn’t talk to me. You didn’t talk to each other. It felt like I was being sacrificed for nothing.”

“You werenotbeing sacrificed. Fuck. I thought—Christ, I was given the worst advice with you. I sent you there because they said you deserved to be in a place that could accommodate you. Not because I didn’t want you around.”

Lucas laughed quietly and shrugged. “I know. And I mean, yeah, they don’t always get it right at the blind school because more than half the staff are just well-meaning sighted people or whatever. But I know you were trying. I know you wanted me to have a good life that wasn’t super hard. And I know all the choices you had to make for me weren’t easy. God dropping a totally blind autistic kid in your lap was a pretty fun joke, I guess.”

Bronx huffed and reached for his son’s hand, squeezing his fingers. “You’re not ajoke, Lucas. You’re agift.”

“Well, I hope you know there are no returns or refunds,” Lucas said with a grin. He pulled his hand back and rubbed the back of his head before dragging his fingertips along his jeans. That was one of his more relaxed stims, which let Bronx unwind a bit, knowing his son wasn’t being emotionally tortured by all of this. “I just hope you’re not holding yourself back because of some fucked-up idea that Jules put in your head about who you are and what you deserve.”

That wasn’t it. Not really. Notentirely.

Jules had done a number on his self-esteem, but Bronx had meant what he said to Lucas moments before. Monty was a good-looking, kind, wonderful man who deserved more than some washed-up, middle-aged mess.

“Look, I think—” Bronx’s words were cut off by his phone buzzing, and he looked down to see Adele’s name on the screen. “Hang on. Adele’s calling me.”

“Ooh. Ask if Gage is there. He wanted me to come by to check out the Civilization board he put together.”

“Give me a sec.” Bronx stood up and walked into the kitchen with his phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder. “Hey. Everything good?”

“Not bad. I have a favor though. Most of the guys are busy, and I’m killing myself trying to put together this IKEA bed. Could you come by and help? I’ll pay in tamales that my brother just stress steamed and dumped in my freezer.”

“I’ll do it for free,” Bronx said.

“Ask him!” Lucas hissed.

Bronx rolled his eyes. “Lucas wants to know if Gage is around. Something about a?—”

“Civilization board?” Adele guessed. “Yeah. He’s been up my ass about getting you to drive him over. He’ll be back from rehearsals in about twenty minutes. We couldprobably use the extra hands. Dinner’s on me. It doesn’t have to be tamales.”

“You don’t have to bribe me. Count us in.”

“Fuck yeah,” Lucas said.

Bronx turned and sighed. “Language. Now, go get your shoes.” He hung up with Adele and realized in that moment his life was full. It wasn’t totally settled, but he had his son, who was talking to him again, his brother who was close by, a new little family growing of strangers who were quickly becoming brothers, and someone who he couldn’t quite define yet, but he had a feeling that Monty was meant for more than just ships passing in the night.

Who knew a divorce that had rocked his world would suddenly lead to this?

On the deck, Bronx could hear Gage and Lucas talking excitedly about their game. The window was open per Adele’s rules—he was convinced that if he was going to catch his kid smoking weed, that was the way to do it. Bronx didn’t have the heart to tell him that teenagers would be more clever than that.

He wanted to let the man live in his fantasy.

Besides, Gage was a good kid, so even if he was indulging from time to time, he wasn’t one Bronx would have worried about. In fact, he was beyond grateful that they’d ended up somewhere his son could have friends like him.

---