Page 12 of Loving You

They stood at the sink a few inches apart, and Bronx mused on just how happy Dallas looked now. He hadn’t ever said much when Dallas was married, but he’d always hated Katie. She was unkind to Bronx and Lucas. She made it feel like they should be grateful she even looked their way and that visiting them was a chore.

He hadn’t put up much of a fight when Dallas stopped coming around, but maybe he should have. Maybe he could have saved him a few years of pain.

“So, I wanted to say?—”

“Can I?—”

They stopped, and Dallas rolled his eyes, laughing. “You go.”

Bronx bit his lip, then finished his sentence. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go for it.” Dallas could likely tell it was going to beheavier than a favor. He didn’t meet Bronx’s gaze, fixing his eyes on the sink as he rinsed the plates.

“Did I fuck up?”

Dallas glanced over. “With what? Jules? Because I swear to God, Bronx, if you’re thinking of going back to him?—”

Bronx felt a surge of anger, and he took a step back. “Why do you keep saying that? Why does anyone think I’m going back to him after what he did to me, never mindLucas? You think I’d take back a man who treated my son like that?”

Dallas looked immediately apologetic. “Hey, look…”

“No,” Bronx snapped. “Do you seriously think that low of me?”

“No. God, no.” Dallas threw his towel down, closed the dishwasher, then took a step back, leaning against the counter. “That’s not a criticism of you. It’s…” He trailed off, licking his lips nervously, then grimaced. “There was a period of time right before Audra was born where I realized I would take her back if she’d asked me to. She didn’t, thank God, but I was so fucking lonely and weak, and I just wanted to have a family that wasn’t broken, you know?”

Bronx did know. A little too well. And it was probably a quiet reason kept in the shadows for why he’d lasted so long with Jules. He deflated. “No one would have blamed you, Dallas.”

“Yeah, but I would have been miserable, and I’m really glad I stayed strong. But I didn’t want you to hit that point, you know? I wanted to be able to talk you out of it if you somehow got there.”

His feelings were hurt only because it didn’t matter how low he was, he’d never take back a man who treated his son the way Jules had. He assumed his brother would have known that about him. But then again, there had beendistance between them for years, so maybe it wasn’t fair to assume Dallas knew him very well at all these days.

“So, what do you think you fucked up?” Dallas asked.

Bronx had almost forgotten his question. He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “Everything with you. Katie was so terrible with Lucas, and you were so miserable, but I didn’t think you were going to leave her, so when you walked away, I let you go. And I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me a little bit for that. It’s like you said—there were moments of weakness, and I wasn’t around to be able to talk you out of them.”

This was a conversation a long time coming. He knew that much. He should have said this months ago. Before his own life had fallen apart.

Dallas blinked, then let out a very soft laugh. “Are you serious?”

Bronx shrugged. “Well, yeah. I’ve been there for you your whole life, but when shit hit the fan, I just…wasn’t. I let you shoulder all of that by yourself, and I feel like a giant dickhead.”

Dallas crossed his arms and looked at him for a long moment. “If I was upset about it back then, I’m not now. But I’m pretty sure I got what I deserved. I let her treat Lucas the way she did. I mean, we fought about it, and I told her to stop being such a fucking weirdo about him, but I could have done more. I should have made sure he heard me standing up for him.”

“I knew it wasn’t you,” came a voice to their left.

Both Bronx and Dallas turned to see Lucas standing in the kitchen doorway with his hand on the wall. Dallas took a step closer to his nephew. “Yeah, but actions are a lot louder than words, and you deserved to hear me tell her she was out of line.”

“When you’re blind, words are definitely more important,” Lucas said with a small grin. He walked forward, his hand out, and Bronx caught him and guided him closer. For a moment, with the way he was holding his head and the smirk on his face, he looked so much like Jules.

He hated it, but not more than he loved his son.

“Don’t be a smart-ass,” Dallas said. “You know what I mean.”

“Bruh, you’ve apologized like twelve times now. We’regood.”

“Don’t call your uncle bruh,” Bronx said.

“You’re going to have to get over that,” Dallas told him. “My kinders have started using sigma Ohio and some other shit I cannot pronounce.”

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