Page 49 of Bought and Enjoyed

I nodded, not trusting my voice just yet. My mind was reeling, trying to process everything that had just happened. The intensity of the experience, both physically and emotionally, left me feeling raw and exposed.

Lucas’ hand moved to cup my face, tilting my chin up so I had to meet his eyes. His ice-blue gaze was surprisingly tender as he studied me. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said softly.

I swallowed hard, struggling to find the words. “I… I don’t know,” I whispered. “It was so intense. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

A small smile played at the corners of Lucas’ mouth. “But did you enjoy it?” he pressed.

Heat flooded my cheeks as I nodded. “Yes,” I admitted, my voice barely audible. “God help me, but I did.”

Lucas’ smile widened, a hint of smugness in his eyes. Suddenly my mental state seemed to turn completely around, and I saw his picture in the profile Louise had shown me, heard him saying those things about traditional marriage.

And he just showed you that he believes in just that, didn’t he?

Lucas’ arms held me close, and it felt too good. My mind reeled. The intensity of what had just happened left me breathless, my body still tingling with aftershocks of pleasure. But as the haze of arousal began to clear, shame and doubt crept in.

I shifted slightly, wincing at the tenderness in my bottom. The physical reminder of what we’d done sent a confusing mix of arousal and revulsion through me. How could I have enjoyed something so degrading, so utterly submissive?

Louise’s words echoed in my mind, cutting through the fog of lingering pleasure.

“He’s well known for his archaic views on gender roles. The man practically thinks women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to reconcile the man who had just given me earth-shattering pleasure with the chauvinistic brute Louise had described. But weren’t they one and the same? Hadn’t Lucas just proven how little he respected me as an equal by using my body so thoroughly for his own pleasure?

The lingerie I still wore seemed to mock me. The delicate white lace, once so alluring, now felt even more like a costume—a degrading outfit designed to present me as nothing more than a sexual object for Lucas’ enjoyment. I was acutely aware of the garter straps framing my thighs, the sheer stockings clinging to my legs. The cut-out panties left me feeling more exposed than if I’d been completely naked.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. The lingering scent of sex hung heavy in the air, a visceral reminder of what had just transpired between us. My body still thrummed with residual pleasure, but a creeping sense of shame was rapidly overtaking the afterglow.

“Lucas,” I began hesitantly, my voice barely above a whisper. “I… I think we need to talk.”

He propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes studying me intently. “What is it,ma chère?” he asked, a hint of concern in his tone.

I sat up slowly, wincing again at the discomfort in my bottom. The movement caused the delicate lace of my bra to shift against my sensitive nipples, sending an unwelcome jolt of arousal through me. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling terribly exposed despite—no, because of—the lingerie.

“This… whatever this is between us,” I said, gesturing vaguely. “It can’t continue.”

Lucas’ brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

I took another deep breath, steeling myself. “What we just did… it was intense. And yes, physically pleasurable. But it’s wrong, Lucas. It goes against everything I believe in.”

“Alice,” he began, reaching out to touch my arm. I flinched away, and he withdrew his hand, hurt flashing in his eyes.

“No, please,” I said, holding up a hand to stop Lucas from interrupting. “I need to say this.”

I took a deep breath, trying to organize my chaotic thoughts. The silky sheets beneath me felt too soft, too luxurious—another reminder of how Lucas had tried to buy my submission. I shifted uncomfortably, acutely aware of the state of my backside and the wetness between my thighs.

I gestured at the lingerie. “This isn’t me. I’m not some… some submissive doll for you to dress up and play with.”

Lucas opened his mouth to speak, but I pressed on, afraid that if I stopped, I’d lose my nerve. “I know my body responded. I can’t deny that. But it’s just a physical reaction. It doesn’t mean anything deeper.”

Even as I said the words, I felt a pang in my chest. Was I trying to convince Lucas, or myself? I pushed the thought aside, focusing on the physical sensations to ground myself. The ache in my stretched muscles, the slight burn in my recently claimed bottom—these were real, tangible things I could point to. Evidence that this was purely physical, that it had nothing to do with real emotion, let alone the intellectual bond I had always told myself I would seek out in a lover.

I took another deep, shuddering breath, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Lucas, I… I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to see you again.” The words felt like shards of glass in my throat, but I forced them out. “You can take back all the money. I’ll find another way to pay for my studies.”

Lucas’ face fell, a deep sadness clouding his eyes. For a moment, he looked utterly lost, vulnerable in a way I’d never seen before. It made my heart clench painfully, but I steeled myself against the urge to take back my words, to throw myself into his arms and beg forgiveness.

“Alice,” he said softly, his voice rough with emotion. “Are you certain this is what you want?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Lucas was silent for a long moment, his gaze searching my face as if memorizing every detail. Finally, he sighed, a sound of deep resignation.

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