"See?" I tell myself, trying to sound confident as I slide the vibrator inside my center. "I'm not alone in this world. Thanks to the internet, I can have anonymous connections anytime I want."

The first buzz sends a sudden jolt to my pussy as the toy springs to life, controlled by someone unknown on the other end. My body responds willingly, craving the release that only physical pleasure can provide. As the vibrations build to a crescendo, mythoughts drift back to Asher and how he made me feel on the beach – alive, passionate, and desired.

"Stop it, Elle," I chide myself, shaking my head. "You're not going down that road again."

As if sensing my weak mind, the vibrations from the toy increase in intensity, making my core become a tight coil that’s going to release any second. My breaths come in shallow gasps as I struggle to hold onto my thoughts against love.

"God, this feels amazing," I moan, gripping the sheets beneath me. But it's not the same, is it? It's not the true thick dick that fills me up, or the heavy weight of a man's body pinning me down to rub his hips over my clit until I come.

Despite the undeniable pleasure coursing through me, there's an emptiness in my heart that no amount of anonymous connections can fill. The give and take of life leaves me with a choice: continue down this path alone or risk everything for the chance at love.

"Ugh," I groan. "Why does it have to be this way? Why can't I just... let go?"

My body trembles as the vibrator pushes me closer and closer to the edge. With one final, desperate plea for release, I surrender my body and scream the name that my mind is still hung up on.

"Asher!"

I lie there, catching my breath, the cool air-conditioned air brushing against my damp skin. The fading sunlight darkens my home.

"Damn it," I mutter under my breath, my thumb absently finding its way to my mouth. Despite the climax I just experienced, there’s still a gnawing feeling of... dissatisfaction? Inadequacy? Whatever it is, it's unsettling.

"Is this really what I want?" I ask myself, glaring at the Lovense toy as if it could provide some sort of answer. My heart still races, but for all the wrong reasons. I try to focus on the positive aspects of my current situation – the freedom, the lack of emotional turmoil that quite possibly come – but my mind stubbornly circles back to Asher and the good possibilities that could be.

"Ugh, why am I even thinking about him?" I groan, tossing the vibrator aside in frustration. "I barely know the guy, and yet... there's something about him that makes me feel..."

Alive?a small voice in the back of my head whispers, daring me to acknowledge the truth I've been avoiding. "But at what cost?" I counter, trying to remind myself of all the pain and heartbreak that love can bring.

Maybe the cost of loneliness is greater,the voice insists, growing bolder.Is having a long, fat cock to fill you up and complete you really so bad?

"Shut up!" I snap, covering my ears as if that could somehow silence my inner thoughts. "You're not helping!"

Neither are you,the voice adds. "By refusing to take any risks, do you want this same life you have forever? Is that what you truly want?

"Of course not!" I huff, feeling the tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "But how can I trust that love won't just leave me broken and empty in the end?"

Maybe you can't,the voice admits gently.But isn't it worth finding out? Don't you owe it to yourself to at least try?

My goddamn Gypsy upbringing, causing annoying voices in my head. With a defeated sigh, I whisper, "I don't know."

Then maybe it's time to find out,the voice urges, softer now.

Chapter 5

Asher

Another hotel room. A different city. As my fingers drum on the table after our away game loss, something about that night on Love Beach keeps popping into my mind. The soft sound of Elle's laughter and the way she told stories at the bonfire... She felt so familiar.

God. I’m losing it. I shake my head, trying to shake off the feeling. It just won't go away.

That's when I remember how I first stumbled upon the psychic phone line – it was after a particularly rough game, and I was feeling lost, unsure of how to prove myself to my team and the world. A late-night infomercial featuring Miss Tusaine's alluringvoice had drawn me in, promising guidance and clarity. It's been months since I last called Miss Tusaine's Readings for the Divine.

Maybe it's worth a shot of getting resolution to this unsettling feeling I’m having. I hesitantly pick up my phone and dial the number. Then I wait, while taking a few deep breaths to calm my nerves.

Thank you for calling Miss Tusaine’s Readings for the Divine, your personal guide to your future. In a moment, you’ll be connected with Lavender Meadows. To accept all that is waiting for you and the charges, please press one.

The line clicks over after I press one, and the psychic's sultry voice fills my ears. “Thank you for calling Miss Tusaine's Readings for the Divine, this is Lavender Meadows. How may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m John Dough…” I reply, and before I can say what I’m calling about. She cuts in.