Page 63 of His Secret

He rubs his hand over his chest, right over his heart. “You can’t ask me to tell you to walk away, because I remember what it feels like to be the one left behind, and I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me for a long time. If you want me. Truly. Without reservation or fear, come to me and tell me, and I’ll be waiting.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

ADRIAN

He walks away from me,and I’m forced to feel a tiny bit of what it must’ve felt like for him when I walked away all those years ago. This is nowhere near the same. I’m aware I blindsided him and hurt him in the worst way. And now, he’s just trying to be cautious. He wants me to be sure, but being with Matías is the only sure thing I’ve ever known. Walking away from him split me apart. My heart has been living without a piece of it for years, because that piece resides in him.

I’m married. I’m married.

It’s not a real marriage. It never felt real to me. But that doesn’t mean Charlotte doesn’t believe it to be real. But to gain the courage to tell her the truth about me isn’t something that’ll come quick. I can’t call her right now and tell her over the phone so I can rush into his room and be with him. But I also don’t think I’ll be able to wait much longer.

The need I feel to be with him gets stronger every minute. Retaining any sense of good morals grows precarious every moment I’m close to him.

I’m still at the table, barely picking at my food as he sitsin his room. When his phone rings, it filters through the door, as does his voice when he talks.

“Hello? Hi. No, I’m not home right now. I’m in Vegas on a work trip.” A pause, and then he laughs. “Oh, really?” Does he sound flirtatious? When he speaks again, it’s a bit quieter, and I find myself holding still to try to hear better. “Tell me what exactly.” Another chuckle, and I find myself getting upset that anyone else is making him laugh. Is this the guy from earlier today? The one he spent so much time talking to? “Well, I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.”

A couple minutes after he ends the call, he walks back into the main living area to get rid of his trash, eyes flashing to me briefly.

He puts his phone on the counter as he pulls open the cabinet that houses the trash can and drops everything in there.

I walk over to dump mine as well, and once again his phone rings. The screen lights up and the name Christian shows up across the top. We both look down at it before meeting each other’s gaze.

“Is that someone you aren’t exclusively dating?” I ask.

“Maybe. Does it matter?”

“You’re not gonna answer it?”

“Would you like me to?”

I shrug, feigning indifference as I walk back to the table.

The phone stops ringing. “Yes?” Matías answers.

“Hi. I was wondering if you’re going to be free next weekend,” a voice says from the phone. Matías put it on speaker.

I turn around and find him watching me. “What do you have in mind?” he asks.

“Another visit to Summons House.”

“Hmm. Well, let me get back to you. I need to make sure I won’t have other plans.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Okay.”

Matías presses the end button on the screen and waits for me to have a response. It’s clear in the way he was speaking to Christian, that whoever was on the phone earlier was someone different. He didn’t speak to him with much emotion.

“What’s Summons House?” I ask.

He smirks. “Look it up. And let me know if I’ll have plans next weekend.”

I’m in my room, tossing and turning as I contemplate what I want to do. I know cheating is wrong. More often than not, it’s categorized as amistakewhen people get caught. They’re either drunk and not thinking, they were mad at their partner and went off and cheated. It hardly evermeansanything. There are tons of excuses, and none of them justify the action. I’m smart enough to know that, no matter what, it’s wrong.

My dwelling on it, and thinking about it takes away the excuse of a mistake. The fact that I’m turning it over in my head so much probably makes it worse. I’m deciding if I want to break my marriage vows and disrespect someone I’m supposed to love and cherish. If I do it, I’ve made the conscious decision to hurt her.

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