Page 58 of His Secret

When are you gonna be back?

Miss me or something?

More than you know. I’ll be leaving in a few hours.

I miss you too! I’ll be back in South River this evening. It’s not a far drive.

Can’t wait to see you.

Me either. I love you.

Love you more.

I look up, a smile still on my face, and find my father in the doorway.

My smile drops immediately, and I take my feet off the coffee table and put them on the floor. “Hey.”

He doesn’t say anything, only quietly makes his way into the room where he goes to the window and peeks out.

After an uncomfortable amount of time, he finally speaks. “You’re due to come work for me once you graduate. I’ve built this company and made it into what it is. You are in position to take the reins when I’m ready to retire, which won’t be any time soon, but you still have plenty to learn.” He faces me. “You and your sister have never needed to get a job or pay for your own phone bills or anything like that. You are my children, and I’m aware that I’m responsible for you, however, because I do pay for everything, I believe I’m entitled to some information.”

I begin sweating, because I have no idea what he’s getting at. Talking to my father is never a relaxing situation. We’re never able to talk or joke with each other. He’s only capable of lecturing me.

“I know kids tend to think their parents are oblivious, but I am not. I know you better than you think I do. Likely better than you know yourself. I watched you grow up. Hell, I raised you. You’ve had the world at your fingertips.Born into money, blessed with good looks, and given the best tutors money could buy. You’re a smart boy, Adrian. I know you are. You are my legacy—what lives on after I die, and what you do with my company is important to me. I want it to remain in the family. I want it to grow and be bigger than ever, and I think you can do that.”

I nod, swallowing. “Yes, sir.”

“A few years ago, you were here visiting for Christmas. You remember?”

I dip my chin, not sure where this is heading. My brain works overtime trying to remember what happened three years ago.

“Just eighteen,” he says. “So young, so stupid.”

“Sir?”

He huffs and walks over, his jaw tense. “I’ve been hoping that your little internet searches were simply curiosity. Dumb, childish curiosity. You had just started college, and you’re surrounded by a plethora of individuals who were not raised the way you were. You start getting ideas or information from kids whose parents didn’t teach them right from wrong. With the internet at your fingertips, I understand you can type in anything to seek answers. In the last few years, you’ve yet to bring a girl home, let alone even mention one. You’ve never had interest in dating, and I can respect keeping yourself focused on more important things, but I hope it’s only that.”

My heart races in my chest. What the hell is going on? What did I look up three years ago and how does he know?

“My company will not go to a deviant, and no child of mine will be gay and still be my child.”

He stares me down, waiting. For what? For me to deny it? To question it? No matter what I do or say, it won’t be the right thing.

I simply nod my head once, tears brimming in my eyes. After a few more seconds of watching me, he walks out of the room.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

ADRIAN

On the way back home,I rack my brain trying to remember what I did three years ago, but then a memory flashes through my mind, and I hit the brakes in the middle of the road. Luckily, nobody is behind me.

It was my first year of college, which was when I was really questioning myself and the thoughts and feelings I was having. I found myself attracted to a guy in one of my classes. I had always been able to admit when a guy was attractive. That didn’t make anyone gay. But this guy in particular made me nervous. I got excited to be around him. I was hanging on every word and movement, and I started to think about other things. What it would be like to touch him and kiss him.

It freaked me out. I was already well aware of my parents and their viewpoints. How did I go eighteen years without feeling this way? Was I just suppressing it? Was I afraid to see it because I knew it wouldn’t be accepted?

I went home for Christmas break and started to Google things on my phone.

How to know if you’re gay.

---