Page 57 of His Secret

“He could come back,” I say simply.

Mary nods and all four of us clear the table and get the dishes into the kitchen.

“Go have some fun,” Mary says with a hand on my shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“Bye, Mary. Linda,” Amelia says, hugging them. “Thanks for everything.”

Amelia and I head through the expansive house until we get to the staircase that’ll lead us to our rooms.

“Same place?” she asks before going into her room.

“Yeah.”

I quickly change out of the formal clothing we’re required to wear for dinner, and get into a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I make my way up to the third floor that holds an expanded loft, then open the French doors that lead to the deck.

I’m outside for a few minutes before Amelia appears, wearing fuzzy socks, fleece pants, and a thick robe tied tight around her body.

“What a fucking bore,” she says, dropping into the chair next to me. “I hate coming here.”

“I’m thinking of not coming for Christmas.”

Her head snaps in my direction, eyes wide. “Do you have a death wish?”

I shrug. “I’ll blame school or something. I can’t keep coming out here. They’re awful to be around.”

She nods. “I know. It’s never fun.”

“So, you have a boyfriend?” I ask.

She scoffs. “No. I just figured I’d say that considering how he reacted to you not having a girlfriend.”

“Nice.”

“I messed it up by bringing up Stacy.”

“Yeah,” I say with a nod.

Amelia takes a scrunchie off her wrist and ties her long, brown hair up into a messy bun. “So, nothing new with you?”

I haven’t told Amelia about Matías, because I haven’t told her that I’m gay. I know I can trust her more than my parents, and I don’t think she’d spill the news to them, but I’m still struggling to say the words out loud to anyone.

Speaking them out loud means there’s no more hiding, and I’m not sure I’m ready to be out from the cover of secrecy. Secrecy is my safe blanket, and once it’s off, I’m visible and vulnerable to the world.

“Not really,” I say.

She watches me for a few seconds but doesn’t push it. We spend the next few hours outside until we think we might actually freeze to death, then we hug and go to our individual rooms.

In the morning, I’m sitting in the library because nobody ever comes in here. Matías is sending me pictures of him with his mom’s new dog. The dog is a small little thing and sits on his shoulder as he’s on the couch.

I laugh and tell him to try to smuggle it back to school.

He sends me a video of the dog barking while simultaneously running in a circle, head in the air like he’s barking at the clouds.

Okay, maybe don’t bring him. He’s loud for such a small dog.

He’s crazy. He’s not barking at anything. Just mad at the air, I guess.

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