Page 63 of Tempting Him

Alek:Do you want to?

My stomach clenchesas my heart stutters in my chest before warmth floods my veins.

Me:Don't play with me.

Alek:Please come over.

His useof the wordpleasehas any resolve I had crumbling. I doubt he uses that word much. I don't respond to him, I just drive.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm in the elevator, on the way up to his room. After I knock, he doesn't take long to answer, and though he's still showing signs of being a little drunk, his shoulders appear to sag in relief when he sees me.

With a half empty glass already in his hand, he walks to his bar. "Drink?"

"I'd have to sleep over."

He snorts but starts pouring. His bare feet pad toward me, arm outstretched, offering me a glass.

"I think we need to talk."

I put my drink down. "Oh Lord. If this is the,it's not you, it's metalk, it could've been done over the phone."

He struts to the couch and plops down. He's still in his slacks and button up shirt. The top two buttons are undone, the sleeves are rolled up, and though he looks a little tortured, he still looks damn good.

I follow his lead and sit across from him. He takes two drinks before he speaks.

"I'm sorry I was a dick. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were being used. I thought we were both on the same page, and I didn't stop to think that maybe I was hurting your feelings."

"When you say it like that you make it sound like I was at home crying. I'm not sad about anything. Just frustrated. I'm not saying I haven't been with someone who hasn't wanted to suck dick, but usually it's been a woman, and that was because it was a one and only hookup situation. Gay men can have a lot of differences, but one of the similarities is liking cock. And I've never been with anyone who was opposed to kissing." I shrug. "Saying it out loud now, I get that it sounds trivial."

"It's not. Look, I know that I'm the abnormal one, but I have reasons. They may not make sense to anybody else, but to me they do."

"Okay," I say with a nod.

"I told you a little about how my parents reacted, but that was just scratching the surface. Growing up, I didn't have it easy. I knew I was attracted to the same sex when I was about twelve. I fought that attraction for a while, because I was confused, but then I met a kid a little older than me. We became close, and I guess I saw things differently than he did, so when I tried to kiss him, he became enraged. It wasn't until later, after he told his older cousins, that I knew just how upset he was.

"They caught me in an alleyway as I was walking home and made sure I knew to never come near that boy again. That was the first time I heard the slurs and felt the hate, but it wasn't the last time."

"Alek."

He holds a hand up, stopping me from saying more.

"I lied to my parents about why that happened, feigning ignorance. I said it was just a random attack and that maybe they were just wanting money. I was afraid for a couple years to even try to get close to another guy again. I thought everyone knew and would only be attempting to catch me trying something just to have an excuse to attack.

“I was angry, too, and in my fear of being found out, and anger for being a victim, I became friends with people who I thought would protect me. They were angry kids just like me, but because of their own reasons. We were constantly getting in trouble for doing stupid shit. They hated people who were like me, and I had to pretend I hated them, too.

"They beat up a kid for being gay. It was for fun. They had no reason to hate him, but they heard he was a homosexual and wanted to punish him for it. I wasn't there that day, but they told me about it later. That only instilled more fear into me." He takes a breath and runs a hand through his hair. "Fast forward a couple more years, and I'm working at a restaurant, where I meet this guy. We both worked until close, having to clean the kitchen, and we became good friends. One day he said something about an ex-boyfriend, and I was so surprised at his honesty. Besides the shock, my first feeling was fear. What if he was laying a trap? Trying to get me to admit to being gay?

"A long while went by before I realized he was a genuinely good person. He was two years older than me and not even in school anymore. One night after we had closed up, we ended up messing around a little. That went on for a few weeks, and I was finally accepting that I was gay and it wasn't a big deal. I liked what we were doing, and he was a good guy."

Alek stops talking and takes another drink. His eyes find mine, and I can tell whatever comes next is important. I'm almost afraid to hear it. He already admitted to being attacked. Maybe that's where the scars on his torso came from. I can't imagine it getting worse.

"My dad decided to come pick me up one night. Usually, it was my mom, and typically she waited out front. My dad was impatient, though, and he drove around to the back. We always kept the back door cracked for fresh air, and when he came in looking for me, he found us in a compromising position."

I take in a sharp breath as my eyes bulge, imagining the scene. "Oh."

Alek nods. "He walked in on us as Phillippe was...well, entering me."

My eyebrows shoot up. "Oh shit."

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