Page 55 of Tempting Him

He's cut off when the door swings open and Joel strolls in, his smile bright when he sees me.

"Hey, Jay. How was your weekend?" When my eyes bounce to Alek, Joel turns and notices who it is for the first time. "Oh. Hi, Mr. Drakos."

"Mr. Grenald," he greets stiffly.

"My weekend was okay," I answer. "Could've been better."

His eyes shift toward Alek, like he isn't sure how to talk in front of him, but Alek remains unmoved.

"That sucks. You should've called me. I went out with a few people and had a good time."

"You're right. I should've called you," I answer, using this moment to piss Alek off. "I'm sure I would've had a much better time."

Joel grins and I start to feel bad for leading him on. Fuck. I blame Alek for this.

"Yeah, well, maybe next weekend? Let me know."

He eyes Alek one last time before heading to a urinal.

"Will do. Thanks," I reply, moving to leave.

Alek's behind me soon after I start walking down the hall toward Luther's office.

"I think we need to talk," he says.

"We don't. I'm over it. It's fine."

"Dammit, Jayden."

I glance around, one person walking past us gives us a weird look. "Better be careful, Mr. Drakos. You're bringing attention to us. I'd hate for people in this office to think you're bending over for me. That wouldn't be good for your image, would it? Can't be the powerful, alpha male boss if you like dick."

His face reddens slightly as he clenches his jaw. He yanks me by the arm into an open conference room, locking the door.

"Will you fucking stop?" he seethes, keeping his voice low.

"What? That's what it is, right? You'll never be in a normal relationship if you don't understand that intimacy is a two way street. You're not supposed to only get what you want. You have to please the other person too."

"Are you saying you weren't pleased?" he asks, anger in his tone.

I stare back at him. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"This wasn't supposed to be about intimacy. I informed you of that. I didn't want it."

"Lots of people kiss, and it means nothing. Not everyone is in love when they makeout with someone. Getting on your knees to suck my dick doesn't mean you have to get on your knees to propose marriage. Just admit you're a selfish prick when it comes to sex and let's move on."

He slams his hand on the door. "Goddammit, Jayden. I'm fucked up." He gestures toward his head. "You have no idea what's going on in here. I...just can't."

My shoulders drop with an exhale. "I'm gonna say something I hope you don't fire me for, but it's something I believe is the truth, and maybe you'll take it for what it is—advice from someone who cares, rather than an insult. I think you need to talk to someone. A therapist. I think you might have internalised homophobia."

He steps back, his eyes widening before his eyebrows pull together. "I'm not homophobic."

"Just look into it. I've studied it a little myself, and I'm not insinuating you have every textbook example, but separating sex and love is one, because you fear intimacy. Shame and anger. Fear of people finding out. Look, you said your parents didn't take it well, and I don't want to speak badly about them, but it seems they might be classified as homophobic, and what they said to you may have stuck." I shrug. "It's up to you. I'm gonna get back to work. No hard feelings, okay?"

He nods absently, like he's not really hearing me, and I slip out of the room without another word from him.

I don't know why I hadn't put it together earlier, but I dealt with this once before. A guy I was hooking up with was the same way. His family was very homophobic, but he was gay. However, he was deep in the closet and was constantly afraid I was going to out him. We had to sneak to see each other, and he was afraid of getting too close, kissing too much, and never wanted to cuddle or lay in bed together afterwards. Around other people, he'd put on a front and act straight, almost to the point of hating on the LGBTQ community for no reason. It was fucking crazy, and I couldn't put up with it for longer than a few weeks.

Based on the little information Alek gave me about his parents, I wouldn't be surprised if they instilled that same hate and disgust, and now it lives within him.

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