Page 50 of Tempting Him

“Jay,” I whisper softly, unsure what I’d even say next.

“Let me. You don’t have to respond. Just let me.”

He takes my silence as permission, and his hand cradles my face as he ever so lightly lets his lips touch the corner of mine. His mouth ghosts over my parted lips as he travels to the other corner, giving me another gentle kiss. The feather light pecks have my stomach tightening and my cock twitching in his ass. I close my mouth, my lips barely pressing into his. His exhale is soft, and his forehead dips to mine one last time.

Then he gets up, pulls me to my feet and turns around. His eyes meet mine. “Dirty me up.”

Bending him at the waist, I thrust into his ass, my entire body on fire, pinpricks of pleasure dancing across my skin. I fuck him hard, needing my release but also feeling the need to erase the intimate moment we just shared. I enjoyed it and I shouldn’t have, for more reasons than one.

This is about sex. Not feelings.

With each thrust, I attempt to block the terrible things that echo in my brain. The disgusting words and threats that I know are wrong—that I know shouldn’t have a hold of me anymore.

I bury myself deep in him, hoping some of his goodness transfers to me. I envy his confidence. I hate that he can do what we do without a care in the world.

“Shit,” I grunt, gripping him tightly. “I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah,” he pants. “Come in me. On me. Give me all of it.”

My orgasm hits, exploding inside him before I pull out and stroke myself, emptying the rest of my release on his ass and lower back—painting him with my cum.

20

If he feelsany sort of awkwardness, he doesn’t show it, then again, why would he? It’s not like he’s the one with intimacy issues. He’s probably not dwelling on the strange kiss we shared. Did we share a kiss if I technically didn’t reciprocate? Is he angry about that?

Regardless of how he feels, I can’t stop thinking about it. His lips were soft and gentle as his hand cradled my face. It felt...nice. However, my body was tense the entire time. Now I can’t stop contemplating how that should’ve gone. I should’ve kissed him back. What’s my dad gonna call me now? Nothing. He can’t.

Is it smart, though, to break down those walls when you know it’s not going anywhere? He’s young and deserves to enjoy dating and fucking around. He can’t tie himself to me. And how would I look? A man near his father’s age dating him? Plus, I’m leaving. It wouldn’t behoove me to give into any indulgences.

As I war with myself, fighting between shoulds and should nots, rights and wrongs, decisions of the heart versus decisions of the mind, Jay clears his throat.

“You okay over there?”

I glance at him flipping through the room service menu. “What’s that? Oh. Yeah, I’m fine.”

He gives me a look that lets me know he doesn’t believe me. “Mmhmm.”

Moving from the kitchen where I down a glass of water, I sit at the table that’s become my workstation, my legs bouncing before I’m up and walking toward the TV. I feel agitated and restless. My body moves as fast as my mind is racing, and I can’t sit still.

After a few minutes, Jay closes the menu, and the loud noise of his hand landing on top of it pulls me from my thoughts.

“What the hell’s going on with you?”

“Nothing, what are you talking about?” I reply in a defensive tone.

“After we finished fucking, you’ve hardly spoken two words to me. You ignored me as we washed up, threw some clothes at me without so much as a glance in my direction, and now you won’t stop pacing.”

His words hit me in the gut. I hadn’t realized I had come off so dismissive, but it’s not surprising. My fear and underlying issues rear up, taking over any logical or reasonable thought process. Where I should assure him it’s nothing to do with him, I lash out.

“I thought you said you didn’t need rose petals and candles. I thought you said you didn’t catch feelings, and now here you are wanting me to, what? Cuddle you? Whisper sweet words in your ear?”

His anger flares as he stands up, his jaw clenching as his fists do the same at his side. “I don’t need those things, but I’m also a fucking person.”

“You’re here for me to fuck. The dinners and swimming were never supposed to be part of the deal.”

He takes a few steps, bringing him closer. “You’re the one who asked me to look at menus and order food. You’re the one who offered to have lunch in the office. I made you swim, but it was you who said it was fun. So, what the fuck are you talking about?”

I shake my head, running a hand through my hair as I walk around him. “It doesn’t fucking matter. It’s done. We cannot have this weird psuedo fucking relationship. Sex. It was only supposed to be sex. No feelings. No emotions, No attachments.”

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