Page 92 of Tempting Him

“Partially,” I admit.

“And the other part?”

My lips twitch, pulling into a grin. “I think you know.”

“I don’t know anything, if I’m being honest,” he says. “I know what I hope, but considering I haven’t heard from you in almost two months…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders.

“I wanted to call you. I brought your name up on my phone more times than I can count, but I knew that if we talked, I had nothing to offer you. What could I say?”

“Anything. I would’ve taken anything over nothing.”

“I’m sorry. I wanted to be better. You made me want to be a better person. I had to work on myself, and I still have a ways to go, but I couldn’t let even more time go by. I kept thinking you’d find somebody else soon.”

His eyes widen slightly upon hearing my truth. “You haven’t been dating?”

I shake my head. “No. You?”

“No.”

The sense of relief I feel is immediate and the smile on my face portrays that. “It’s really good to see you.”

His lips draw into a bright smile. “Why didn’t you tell me yesterday that you were gonna be here?”

“I felt like wishing you a happy birthday was a good excuse to reach out, and thought if you didn’t want to hear from me, you would’ve either ignored me or told me to fuck off. When you replied, I decided I’d make contact with you today.”

“You were afraid I was going to be mad at you? Did you forget the last thing I said?”

I shake my head. “It plays over and over in my head constantly.”

“I meant it. I wouldn’t change anything.”

Stretching my arm across the table, I take his hand in mine. “Jay, I’d change almost everything.”

His brows dip in the middle. “What do you mean?”

“When we started, I said everything we’d do would be whatever I’d allow. I never gave you a chance. I was selfish in my refusal of certain things. I should’ve treated you better, even if you were just supposed to be a fuck buddy. You were right. I didn’t treat you like a person with feelings. I was only concerned about myself.”

“Alek,” he cuts in. “I wasn’t aware of why you were the way you were. I wouldn’t have said those things had I known.”

“It doesn’t matter. I was wrong, and every day since I left, I’ve regretted not being better for you. You went above and beyond and I remained stuck in my ways. You’re one of the nicest people I’ve met and you deserved better.”

“You’re acting like I wasn’t happy. I was. I loved being with you. It was the first time,” he pauses, swallowing while staring into my eyes, “I had met someone who didn’t bore me. Being with you was always exciting, even if we were just eating while watching TV. It was the first time I didn’t have the urge to get up and run away, needing to find my friends or something else to do.”

The waiter appears, so we pull our hands back and let him put the pizza on the table between us. “Let me know if you need anything,” he says before leaving.

“Anyway, that’s what I mean when I say I’d change things. I’d want us to be equal and not just me controlling how we do everything. I’d be less afraid. I’d try more. I’d be better.”

Jay rubs a finger over his bottom lip. “Are you saying you want to try again? You want something more this time around?”

I dip my head. “If you want to.”

“How would that work? My dad. Our location.”

“If you want it to work, I’ll find a way to make it.”

His lips quirk up slightly. “Let’s do it.”

My heart nearly leaps into my throat. “Okay.”

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