Page 38 of Breaking Free

I decide I need to talk to Trevor, but considering his mood, I already know he’s gonna be pissed the minute I approach him.

While I’m in the shower, the loud voices eventually turn into a dull roar, followed by a few quiet goodbyes as people start leaving. I let the hot water hit my shoulders and pour down my back, hoping to relax some of the soreness in my muscles.

I take my time getting dry and dressed, enjoying the rare silence of a locker room. Coach’s voice is audible from behind the closed door of his office, but other than that, it’s quiet.

A couple minutes later, the door creaks open and a furious looking Trevor storms out of his office, glancing at me briefly before pushing through the main doors.

Several minutes later, when I finally emerge outside with my bag hooked over my shoulder, I’m surprised to see Trevor at a bench halfway between the athletic building and the parking lot. His legs bounce while his eyes are trained at the space between his feet.

I think to stop and ask him if he’s okay, but I’m not in the mood to get snapped on, so I stroll by. I’ve only taken a few steps past him before he gets my attention.

“Hey!”

I stop and angle my head over my shoulder. “What?”

He pushes up, grabbing his bag and striding toward me. “What happened between us. It can’t happen again.”

With a snort, I keep walking. “Okay, Campbell.”

“I’m serious,” he says, following me.

“Right, because you sucking my dick on Saturday is why you were so shitty at practice today.”

“You’re…” he pauses, searching for his next words. “You’re a distraction.”

“I didn’t even talk to you today. I barely looked at you, and yet, I’m distracting you?” I continue walking to my car as he keeps up with me.

“You don’t have to talk to me to distract me. I’m thinking about what we did and whether you told anyone, or if anyone’s found out, and I’m searching their faces for weird looks or listening for whispered words about us. I’m too…”

“Afraid?” I offer.

“Is that such a bad thing?” he questions.

At my car, I unlock and open the back door, throwing my bag inside. I close it and lean against it, my arms crossed at my chest. “I haven’t told anyone, Campbell, and I won’t.”

He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. Look, I just can’t.”

Annoyed, I let out a huff. “You know what I think? I think you’d feel so much better if you just broke free. Be yourself. Tell people you’re gay. Tell themthis is me and fuck you if you don’t like it. Then you don’t have to constantly be worried about what they may or may not know. I am not the distraction. You are. You’re in your head way too much. Just like on Saturday. As soon as we were out of the bed, you became tense and weird. Why?”

He looks away, chewing his bottom lip, but doesn’t say anything.

I sigh. “Whatever, man. You say you don’t want to be with me again? That’s fine. You’re not my only option. But when you keep playing like shit, don’t blame me.”

His gaze finally settles on my face, and I can see the battle behind his eyes. He doesn’t know what the hell he wants, but this weird fucking game isn’t for me.

“See ya,” I say, hopping in the car and driving off.

17

When I get home,I find my mom in the small garden in front of our house.

“What’re you doing?” I ask as I make my way to the steps. “It’s not really the time to plant flowers.”

She laughs lightly and raises her head, pushing her hair out of her face with the back of her gloved hand. “Not planting flowers, but I thought I should clear out this area a little. The weeds have taken over, and I don’t even know what the hell this plant is supposed to be, so I’m gonna rip it out. Maybe in the spring I’ll plant flowers, but since Halloween is next month, I figure we can put some pumpkins and little decorations over here.”

“Might as well leave it as is if you’re wanting it to be scary,” I say with a laugh.

“Oh,” she says, waving her hand at me and shaking her head.

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