Page 19 of Above All Else

I stood as she yanked the lamp from the nightstand, ripping the cord from the wall. Her side of the room plunged into shadows as she hurled it at me.

The porcelain missile crashed into the wall, shattering into a million pieces two feet from where I stood.

I snickered and crossed my arms over my chest. “I thought you played softball in high school?”

She cocked her head to the side. “I—“

“Oh, right. Only for half the season, until Judy Stonebeck dislocated your shoulder with a curve ball.”

She frowned. “How do you know that?”

I shrugged. “It’s easy to watch you from a distance when you were always hanging out in Amber’s room. You two were inseparable.” I snarled. “What changed?”

June shook her head, the deep lines between her brows sinking in. “She died, Carter.”

I stormed the distance between us in three long strides, my boots stomping the ground. My right hand gripped her throat, lifted her into the air, and slammed her onto the bed. “Don’t speak about her.”

Her hands wrapped around my wrists. “You asked...me.”

My palmtightened.

End it now.

Be done, and never think of this moment again.

The muscles in my shoulder trembled as she clawed at my arm, fighting for breath.

It only takes thirty-three pounds of pressure to crush the trachea.

I’d seen the results of strangulation: the purple, swollen tongue, the bruising around the throat.

The derelict images of my deceased patients flashed in my mind’s eye, causing my hand to relinquish its hold on her.

Could I see her that way?

What am I doing?

This isn’t me.

She gasped and sputtered as I pulled myself off of her, my hair fisted in my hands. I released a deep guttural yell and slapped the top of my head.

Focus.

She deserves everything she gets.

“Carter.” She rolled to her side, her hand gripping her bruised throat. “I lost her—“

I turned toward her, my hands falling from my hair and scowled, causing her to freeze.

Her chest rose with heavy gasps.

“Youlost her?“ I laughed and resumed my position over her, my knee knocking between her legs. “You’re sick. You know that?” Spreading her legs wide, I gripped her wrists and pinned them to her chest and pressed down.

Her struggling breaths, brightening her hazel eyes with specsof brown. “I don’t understand—“

I pressed down with all my weight. “No, June.Idon’t understand.“ Shaking my head, I scowled, baring my teeth, and bent closer to her pained face. “Why her? She was your best friend.”

“Sto...p” The air rushed from her lungs, my weight restricting their capacity. “I... can’t... breathe.”

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