Page 235 of The Harbinger

Even after two and a half months of living here, I still hadn’t fully adjusted to it. She had grown increasingly impatient with me, exasperated at being mistaken for the voice inside my head.

“I know all about you now,malishka.”

“What do you know?” A queasy feeling churned in my stomach. What if he saw me as a traitor too? Would he do to me what he did to others? My hand instinctively moved to rub at the branding on my skin, a secret I had kept hidden from everyone around me.

“I know all about your involvement with Jenny and Nikolai.”

“Would you have flayed me like her if I had known what I was doing?”

Silence struck me like a war hammer, and my mind went wild until he spoke. “Far worse.”

My bottom lip instinctively found its way between my teeth as I pulled my knees in tighter, drawing them closer until my heels touched my butt.

“I should go now,” Sacha said coolly.

“Please, don’t,” I begged, switching over to Russian. “I’ve wanted to hear your voice for so long. I’ve missed you.”

“Ty popravlyayesh’sya. Prodolzhay praktikovat’sya.” You’re getting better. Keep practicing.

He ended the call as a tear trickled down my cheek. I quickly redialed, but it went straight to a generic voicemail.

“I love you,” I whispered, the words struggling to escape my constricted throat. My gut churned with a maelstrom of emotions - fear, longing, hope.

Why was it so damn hard to tell him how I felt? Why did my tongue feel coated in lead every time I tried to speak those three little words?

Maybe if he knew, he would want me back. Maybe he would feel the same way, and we could finally be together again.

Chapter 65

Mia

“…happybirthdaytoyou.”

My family stood around me, including my grandparents and cousins, clapping their hands with giant smiles, but my mind was lost in another world. A place where the sun had not yet touched, and winter still lingered. Mom leaned towards me and whispered through the side of her mouth, “Blow out your candles before the wax pools on the cake.” I braced my hands on the table, leaning over the cake my mother had made, and blew out the candles, abandoning the wish that would never come true, no matter how many times I closed my eyes.

He wasn’t coming back for me.

My family applauded, and Lex nudged me with her elbow. “Can’t you look a little happy? It’s your birthday?” she whispered.

I gave her a fragile smile. “I am happy.”

“But you’re still thinking about him?”

“Shhh.” I put my finger to my lips as my mother removed the candles. Truth was, I always thought about him. We’d sent texts occasionally, some well into the night, but nothing like the conversations we’d have after sex.

I longed for the rough feel of his hands on my skin, his intense gaze, and his punishing touch. The anticipation was almost too much to bear, but it was only a matter of time. I just had to wait until my passport arrived in the mail and my classes came to a close. I could endure it.

Mom cut the cake and served slices. Of course, she gave me the first one.

“Now that you’re twenty-one, will you hit your first bar?” asked my cousin Angie. Or was she Sophia? I had forgotten already.

Lex and I had stationed ourselves in the corner as the guests arrived. She dutifully introduced each person, painstakingly listing their names and relationship to me... but their faces all blended in my mind.

“I have no desire to drink.”

“You didn’t have a problem when you couldn’t drink.”

“Caroline, that’s enough,” Aunt Misty said.

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