Page 229 of The Harbinger

She shook her head. “I can understand that in times of trauma, our perception may not mirror the reality of the situation. But you need to understand that this was strictly voluntary.”

“That’s absolute bullshit,” I seethed, jabbing my finger toward her. “I would never have agreed to that, and you damn well know it.”

“Mia. Let me explain.”

I shook my head, tears burning my eyes. How could another human being do something like this? How could someone who swore to help the innocent prey on them?

“It’s important for you to have a complete picture of the situation. I believe that having all the information will help process what has happened and moving forward in a healthy way.”

My emotions swirled inside me as she pulled on the strings, urging me forward and agreeing with her. Jenny held all the answers to my captivity, and perhaps she could even shed light on why I had lost my memory in the first place or how I could regain it.

“If I even think you’re lying to me, I’m gone.”

“I’m not here to perpetuate lies.”

“You have fifteen minutes.”

“I appreciate your patience, Mia,” she said. “It may be a lengthy conversation, but I’ll do my best. Would you be comfortable joining me in my car? It’s warmer there, and maybe a more private space for us to talk.”

My breath billowed into clouds of smoke, reminiscent of the dragon horses on the night of my near execution. With a heavy heart, I conceded and followed Jenny to her car, sliding into the passenger seat. She started the engine, and I shivered as the heat blasted on full. The warmth was a welcome relief, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I was willingly stepping into a trap.

“I’ll start from the beginning, okay?”

I nodded, turning sideways in my seat to face her directly. It was time to face the truth, no matter how painful it might be.

“As I mentioned earlier, Mia, I began treating you when you were sixteen. You had been struggling with an eating disorder and had been admitted for attempting to take your own life,” Jenny explained calmly. “Despite our best efforts, you remained depressed, and none of the medications seemed to be helping you. That’s when Nikolai, a high-ranking member of my congregation, approached me with an alternative treatment option, and I found it would fit your condition.”

She paused, gauged my reaction, and then continued, “I understand that this news may be difficult to process, Mia. Please take your time. Is there anything you want me to clarify or any questions you have now?”

I shook my head, my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

“Okay. As you’re well aware, Nikolai was a scribe for the church…” Her explanation faded, her focus now on the ring I twisted on my finger. “I gave my daughter that ring when she was just ten.” Her eyes began to shimmer as she reminisced on her daughter. “He wrote her last words three years ago.”

“I think that’s what caught Sacha’s eye when I met him because he asked about it.”

She nodded. “I knew it would.” She glanced out the windshield, and my stomach flipped as she turned back. The need to rip it off burned my finger anew. “You see, when Nikolai asked to leave the church, our High Priest Ruslan took offense to it and sacrificed his daughter to spite him. It was his way of showing no matter how far he went from the church, he’d still be part of it. Now and for always, since both of our daughter’s remains are in the catacombs with the rest of the sacrificed.”

She lifted the center console and pulled out a tissue, blotting away her tears, her professionalism waning.

“Nikolai had an extensive background in the Russian military and government,” Jenny began, her voice heavy with the weight of the revelation. “But even with all that power, he couldn’t save his daughter from Ruslan. Still, he had a plan and brought it to me, knowing my hesitation towards the church.”

My phone chimed, and I jumped in my seat, my heart racing, my hand itching to see who it was.

“We had selected you to be our messenger for the members who had become discontented over the last ten years under his leadership. Ruslan’s motivations were not aligned with the betterment of our faith, but were driven by his own selfish desires for revenge and greed.” She dabbed her eyes with the tissue again, then noticed my phone pinging again. “Would you like to answer that?”

I shook my head, my mind fully invested in how I’d somehow become involved in all of this. “How was I supposed to be a messenger?” I asked, shaking my head. How had this situation become so surreal? It was as if I were living in a nightmare I couldn’t escape from.

“Nikolai believed he needed someone with a weaker mind, who could be easily controlled and manipulated.” She winced. “Prior to your depression, I would not have classified you as such, but unfortunately, it greatly affected you and diminished your ability to fight back.”

I glared at Jenny, my eyes narrowing with anger and betrayal. “So you manipulated me into your little revenge plot?” I demanded, my voice laced with venom. The thought of being used like a pawn in someone else’s game made my blood boil. I had trusted her, confided in her, and she had taken advantage of me. It was a betrayal that I couldn’t easily forgive.

“In a way, yes, but it’s important to remember you decided to participate. You wanted to get out of the hospital.”

“I would never have willingly allowed my memories to be ripped from me.”

The very idea was horrifying, and I couldn’t imagine what kind of person would willingly subject themselves to such a thing. My mind was my own, and no one had the right to take it away from me, no matter their intentions.

“You were informed about a research program designed to help troubled youth like yourself. However, participation required a year-long commitment and stipulated that you cut off all contact with your family. After careful consideration, you agreed to participate in the study.”

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