Page 193 of The Harbinger

Sacha grunted, the sound low and vibrating as he turned to his back and tucked his hands under his head.

“How did it feel?”

“I was so drunk I could hardly feel a thing.” I curled in closer to him, laid my hand on his chest, pressed my chin into my hand, then traced his inked nipple. “But then a euphoria washed over me, and my tears dried up. My legs grew weak. It was like standing still in the middle of the street, and everyone just went around me. The world carried on. Until I fell. My family’s pleas for me to stay alive washed away the peace.” I laid my cheek on his chest and ran my fingers through his trimmed beard.

“Were you scared?”

“Yes. I wished I could’ve undone it all. I didn’t want to die, but I did if that makes sense. Like I didn’t want my life to end. I just wanted the sadness to go away.”

“Sounds like you were teaching your family a lesson.”

“It was a long time coming.”

I closed my eyes, his heart thumping against my ear as if on a mission.

Has what I said affected him at all? Was he truly interested in it, or had I just blurted my history for no reason?

“Get out of your head, Mia.”

I opened my eyes to find him glancing down at me. “I’m not—”

He brought his finger up to the center of my forehead and rubbed. “You get this wrinkle between your brows that shows me exactly what you’re doing. And what did I say about lying?”

“I’m n—”

“Mia…”

His voice grew stern as he sat up. I rolled off of him and gently placed my head on the pillow.

I should hate him for what he’s done, but in my twisted, damaged mind, I couldn’t. Although his actions disgusted me, he’d done itforme. He’d protected me. And if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead.

How would he have reacted if he’d found me like that? Would it have bothered him, or would I have been just another dead being? Had he turned so cold and heartless that killing the people he cared about most didn’t faze him?

“What are you thinking about?”

“How you would’ve felt if you found me dead.”

“Hemlock isn’t a quick death. It would have taken days, and you would have suffered a great deal.”

Catherine was smart, but she didn’t plan on Sacha coming home so soon. Or what if she had? What if she planned on killing us both?

“So you would’ve never known who did it then.”

“No. She even tried burying the evidence.”

“I don’t understand what I did to her to make her hate me.”

I rolled onto my back and stared at the sun skimming across the ceiling as it crested from the horizon. Had we laid in each other’s arms all night while I spilled my recovered life’s story?

“Nothing. She wanted to set Katya up for life, even though she already was. I would have cared for them no matter the reason, but it wasn’t enough for her.”

I let out a shaky breath, and he snaked his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him, then closed his eyes. “Now sleep. I’ve had a long day, and I’d like some rest.”

My heart raced with chaos in my chest as I settled into him, but my mind wandered. What if there was cause for fear? What if he didn’t have things under control as he liked to believe? Look how easy it was for Ivan and Catherine to betray him. Who else was out there looking to do the same?

Chapter 51

Mia

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