I scrunched my chin and nodded my head from side to side, impressed that was all that was going to be said, and took my blessings where I could get them. I’m sure Charity’s unbalanced state was the cause for him not to rock the boat, though.
“Right then,” I said, trying to break the awkward silence that fell before us. “Should I set the table, or are we doing this buffet-style?”
“Buffet style works better,” Charity said as she wrapped her arms around Luca’s waist and placed a small kiss on his cheek. He unclenched his jaw with her touch, then smiled, allowing me to relax. She brought out the best in him most times. Even though she was wild as hell, she seemed to tame him in the strangest way.
All families have issues, but being Italian meant that we could fight amongst ourselves and still sit around the table without killing each other. I mean, shit, it’s not like he didn’t know he was coming. Our conversation before he walked through the door said as much.
“That’s new,” Alek whispered to me.
“Yeah, Uncle Turo gave us his blessing,” I filled him in.
“Us?”
“Luca, Nico, and I.”
“Jesus, all three of you? You’re all going to wake up with your nuts hacked off and in each other’s mouths if this goes wrong.”
I chuckled and slapped him on the shoulder. “It’s good to have you around again.”
Chapter 28
Charity
Iheard his comment, but it didn’t phase me as it should have. They knew I wouldn’t hurt them. I’d do everything in my power to protect them, just as they do for me. “I’m going to step outside for a moment,” I told Luca, then darted around everyone and made my way to the one person who helped me become the person I was last week. Today, I wasn’t the person I was before, and I was determined to get that Charity back.
Randall stood with his back to me, digging in the back seat of the truck. His head popped up as I approached. With his‘Coders run on Java’shirt, Jake glared at me as he walked inside, avoiding me at all costs. I guess they finished their conversation.
“Is he still mad because I convinced his girlfriend he’d had all the STDs you could think of? How was I to know she’d break up with him?” I chuckled to myself while recalling the memory at the bar.
“That’s not why they broke up. He’s not mad either. He just doesn’t like you anymore.”
“I can’t tell you just how much that doesn’t hurt my feelings.” I smiled.
He leaned against the truck and chuckled as he crossed his large tattooed forearms across his chest. “How are you doing? I’m sure it’s not been easy for you.”
My throat tightened as I tried to quell the sadness. Crying in front of the guys was one thing, but crying in front of Randall was unacceptable. He was the only person who taught me how to control my emotions, and lately, it was as if my training went out the window.
“It’s okay to cry in this situation, Charity. No one is going to fault you for it.”
I rubbed my stinging eyes as his hand landed on my shoulder in a gentle, innocent touch.
Randall didn’t touch people, much less touch you. So for him to offer comfort was something you didn’t take for granted. Besides that, he and I had a different type of relationship than anyone else. Who knows, maybe it was because crazy recognized crazy, and we felt relaxed with each other.
“I do. I fault myself. I didn’t mean to do it, and I want everyone to know that,” I blurted.
My inner circle looked at me with a specific image that I was this cold-blooded killer, and that was true, I was, but I couldn’t stand for anyone to think that I would kill my brother with the same heartless intent.
“No one needs to know but you. Who are you trying to convince by saying it out loud? They will always have their opinions, and you can’t do anything about it. You are the person you need to convince, that’s it.”
“But I already know I didn’t mean to.”
“Then why are you talking about it? No one cares how he died, Charity. Do you realize that? He tried to kill you. You saved him from a painful and well-deserved death, in my opinion.” He stepped back from me, giving himself the space he needed. “You know what would have happened to Josh had Luca got a hold of him after what he did to you?”
Leave it to Randall to be emotionless with his words but straight to the point. I hadn’t even thought of what the guys would have done. Luca wouldn’t have held back from killing Josh just because he was my brother.
“Now, the real question is… are you crying for the death of your brother or for yourself, because you were the one that had to do it?”
Now that was a question I didn’t think I’d ever be able to admit the answer to. I had a feeling I knew the answer, but would the confession ever fall from my lips? Probably not. What would that say about me?