Page 43 of Secrets & Curses of Cerithia

“I dreamt of you before I ever met you in real life,” Cassius called out to me just as I crossed into Kizar. His confession made me stop. The air was difficult to breathe in, and I wasn’t sure if it was what he said or what just happened. I turned slowly, wetting my dry lips. He walked toward me cautiously but stopped when he saw that I gripped my dagger tightly in my hand.

“When I was a child, I dreamt of a girl with wild, dark curls and eyes as green as the moss in the woods. I told no one about it. I thought you were just some random fantasy, but you never went away. For years, you came to my dreams, and I just watched you from the shadows. I found myself excited to go to sleep as the years went by because I would get to see you, the girl with no name. I think I memorized every line of your face, every curve of your body, the way your voice sounded in my dreams. I was drawn to you before I ever even met you.”

My hands trembled at what he told me.

“I didn’t know you were a real woman until your mother came to me. I thought the dreams were my own mind torturing myself with someone I could never have.”

I searched his eyes for understanding. Cassius took a small step forward with his hands up slightly, showing he meant no harm to me.

“You look just like her, except her eyes were blood red,” he smiled softly at me. “I was outside, wandering the woods one day. It was as if something had called me there, but I couldn’t explain it. It was an overwhelming need to be in the forest. Then I saw her, and at first, I thought she was the girl from my dreams. I could tell that she was a blood witch, and I knew the risks of going toward her, but there was a pull coming from her. I did not fear her.”

I found myself wanting to believe his words. I took a step back as if it would shield me from him.

“Bayla,” he said lightly. “She smiled at me when she looked into my eyes. She told me that she knew of my secret—that I dreamt of you. Bayla told me it was her daughter I dreamed of, but she refused to tell me your name or where you lived. I remember asking her what she wanted, and she told me she had seen visions of you and me in the future, that I would fall hopelessly in love with you,” he chuckled and ran his hands down his face. “Bayla said she wanted to meet me once just in case she could not witness our love firsthand. I thought she had lost her mind, but she made me promise that I would never stop looking until I found you.”

“Why?” my voice shook as I spoke.

“She said we would save each other.” His shoulders slumped as he glanced into my eyes. “I started traveling to different parts of the realm as soon as I was old enough and could control my shadow magic. Every night I snuck out, and I searched for you.” His lips had a slight smirk, as if he were remembering a precious memory. “I found you a year before I first talked to you on the night of the blood moon. Gods, I knew your mother was right about falling hopelessly in love with you when I saw you for the first time outside of my dreams. You were practicing throwing daggers at a tree, mad at the realm for some reason, and I couldn’t stop watching you. I returned every night for a year hoping to see you again. I even left one of my viper-handled daggers for you to find one night. Then I realized who you were. I tried to stay away once I realized you were King Luren’s daughter, but it only seemed to make my longing for you worse. Do you know how much torture it is to long for someone you have never met before?”

I shook my head, not knowing how to take this information. “My mother liked you,” I said, cocking my head to the side, trying to understand.

He nodded slowly.

“She seemed... pleased with me. I somehow got the feeling that she was making sure that I was a good fit for you. Bayla told me to protect you, and I didn’t know what she meant by that until years later. I think your mother knew what was going to happen long before it did. Even if your mother had not come to me, I know our paths would have crossed. It was destined.”

My chin trembled as I tried to hold in my emotions.

“Why are you telling me this?” I whispered. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Maybe it does,” he frowned. “I keep hoping that one day I will tell you something about us that will magically trigger your memories. I pray to the gods, the stars, and any being out there that will hear my plea that you will stop looking at me as if I am your villain. That you will stop looking at me like you do not love me anymore.”

“You are my villain!” I stared him down. “How could I love a monstrosity like you?” I spit his own words back at him. He visibly shrank away from my venomous words. Cassius opened his mouth to say something, but he shut it and said nothing else. A pained expression overtook his face as he looked down at his feet.

“My mother was obviously wrong about us.” The words tasted sour coming out of my mouth. Cassius swallowed hard as Wisp appeared next to him. He glanced at her, and I swore I saw a sad longing in his eyes. After a moment that felt like forever, he finally looked back at me.

“One day, you will know how wrong those words are. You are angry with me, and it's making you skew your reality in Cerithia because you fear you will have nowhere to belong.” His golden eyes narrowed on me as he squared his shoulders. “Well, I hate to break it to you, little viper, but you will always feel that way until you are back home withme. I am your home. I am where you belong.” He pointed at his chest.

“Why are you doing this to me? Just stop with the lies,” I begged. He was confusing me. I had been so sure of my anger and bitterness toward him, but each time I saw him, my walls were breaking. He had admitted to killing me and acted as if it weren't a big deal. My eyes met his. I didn't hate him like I hated my father and Jesper. The hate I had for them burned with a vengeance inside of me. But when I looked at Cassius, it wasn't vengeance that burned, it was a longing to understand why he did what he did.

“When you go back to Cerithia, I beg you to please look at your family and everything around you clearly. Do it for yourself, for your own safety. They cannot keep up any sort of charade with you if you stop turning a blind eye to their behavior. Della was right; you need to find out the lies and secrets of Cerithia before you will ever truly choose me. I know you are confused, and I wish I could tell you everything right this second.”

"Then why don't you tell me?" I asked.

He frowned. "Because I can see it in your eyes that you are terrified of me. You are not in a place where you will believe anything I have to say without wondering if I am lying. You need to spend more time in Cerithia to truly understand everything. You are supposed to come to the conclusion that you love me on your own, and I think I keep making this harder for you. I'm making you more confused instead of letting you do this." Cassius looked pained as he watched me. "Della said I was forcing this too much. She said that I needed to let you be angry with me for killing you, to let you process all of this at your own pace. I thought she was wrong, but when I look into your eyes, I know she's right. I just miss you so much that I keep trying to rush it."

I turned away from him because my resolve was breaking. My sniffling seemed deafening in the silent forest.

“I have never been your villain. Gods above, I know I am a monster, but I amyourmonster. I will destroy every fae that has kept you from me, even if I must burn this whole fucking realm to the ground. I will do it for you, for us. I would do almost anything you wish. But the one thing I will never do, even for you, is give up on us.”

When I turned back to him, he was gone, and my chest felt as if it were caving in.

Chapter 14

Ihad returned late the following night. My father was not expecting me back until tomorrow, so I would need to find an excuse as to why I was back. Uncertainty filled me as Cassius’ words played over and over in my head. I decided that I would not tell my father that Cassius had been there. Quietly, I headed in the direction of my room. Before I could walk down the stairs, though, I heard my father talking. Glancing around to ensure the guards were not watching me, I darted farther down the hallway.

I paused at the open door where the sound was coming from and listened. My eyes narrowed when I heard Jesper’s voice answering my father. This was an ungodly hour to be having a meeting.

“Do you think she is ready?” Jesper asked.

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