Page 13 of Secrets & Curses of Cerithia

I collapsed to the ground when exhaustion and panic finally gripped me completely. My eyes started to flutter shut, but not before I saw that Wisp had returned and was floating right next to me. Relieved, I reached for her. But as my fingers neared her bright white flames, everything began to fade. As I lostconsciousness, her flames, along with everything else, seemed to be extinguished from my sight.

Chapter 4

Yesterday, I woke up still lying on the forest floor. I was lucky no monsters ate me as I slept. Wisp had been gone when I awoke to the sounds of guards stomping toward me. They took me back to the castle. My father had waited at the entrance of the gate and stared at me with disappointment. But he said nothing before turning and walking away.

Exhaustion had kept me in bed all day yesterday. I couldn’t stay hidden in my room forever, so I planned to ask my father for something to do.

I slipped on my cloak and boots. I stared at the viper-handled dagger, and flashes of Cassius’ face popped into my mind. I tucked the blade into my boot and headed upstairs. My father had not come to check on me. I hadn't left my room since our fight. I felt shame every time I thought of my father’s disappointed face.

My darkness tried its best to shield me from my sadness, but it never truly went away. I was feeling particularly down todayafter another night of dreaming about Cassius. All the smiles, kisses, looks, and hugs made me feel ill when I saw them in my dreams. None of it had been real. Did he feel disgusted at having to pretend to like me? I swallowed the lump of emotion down and refused to think like that.

I tried to seek him out through the bond and my dreams during the first few nights in Cerithia, but he was silent. Even my loud sobs and pleading did not get a response. I’m sure he was ignoring me and taking pride in the fact that I was weak and vulnerable.

My eyes burned with tears that wanted to fall down my face. But deep inside, I knew that I didn’t want to feel this anymore. He had killed me. He had cursed me to have no memories. I begged for an answer to his betrayal, only to be met with silence. I needed to forget about him. That was why I was out of my room today. I needed something to do.

I paused on the way to my father’s throne room. The queen and my sisters were dressed over the top as they headed for the front doors. Quickly, I headed for them.

“Good morning, queen, Tally, Mae.”

The queen was startled when she looked over my marked skin and black eyes.

“Oh, it’s you.” Her face was passive, but my sisters looked as though they would catch a disease from me.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”

They said nothing back to me. I waited an awkward amount of time but realized they weren’t planning on saying anything back.

“Are you going somewhere?” I asked.

The queen raised her pale brow at my question. “Yes, we are hosting a luncheon with the noble women in the city.”

“Perhaps I could go? I would change, of course.” I tried to sound as genuine as I could. I found it difficult to be this closeto Gwyn. My darkness hummed as we watched her. It wanted to punish her for her nasty words about me.Crimson whore.

“You weren’t invited,” the queen scoffed.

“But isn’t it your luncheon?”

“Yes, your point being?” She didn’t hide her irritation at my question.

“I just mean that it’s your luncheon, so you could invite me to go.”

It was clear my stepmother and sisters didn’t like my presence. I wanted to try to fix my mistakes for the sake of my father, but I had no real desire to have a relationship with these three cruel women.

“Keep your distance from me and my children,” she spoke with venom.

The queen lifted the skirt of her light blue gown and walked through the doors without saying another word. My half-sisters let out soft chuckles as they followed. I just watched them climb into the carriage. Instead of feeling hurt or angry, my darkness was happy at the sight of Gwyn’s discomfort.

After a moment, I turned away from the doors and went to find my father. My family’s distance these past few weeks was intentional. They didn’t seem to care that I was here, even though I had hoped that maybe they would understand how confused and devastated I had been over all of this. I had hoped they would give me grace as I tried to figure things out.

I stopped at the throne room that my father worked in and knocked. Glancing over the large wooden carving that had haunted my dreams while I was in Exile, I felt dread now, just as I had then.

“What?” he snapped, letting me know I could enter.

I opened the door and poked my head in. His green eyes narrowed on my face before surprise took over his features.

“Thea,” he sighed, irritated. My chest tightened as I entered the room. A deep sinking feeling consumed me every time I came in here. I wasn’t sure if it was a forgotten memory or if it was because I dreamt of this room while in Exile.

My father stood in his fancy blue robes with his arms crossed, glaring down at me like I was more of a burden than his child. I knew I had messed up, but I felt that I was not the only one to blame for everything.

---