Haden’s hand rubbed my back in a comforting way.
“I’m sorry, Thea,” he sighed heavily before backing up and sitting on the couch with me next to him. “I wanted to check on you because you haven’t left the bed in weeks. Cassius is worried. Everybody is worried.”
“I’m tired,” I whispered softly.
“No, you’re depressed. You’ve been through hell, and your body doesn’t understand that you are safe now, so it keeps you on edge just in case you need to keep fighting.”
I sat up and stared at Haden.
“I don’t know if I’m safe here, though,” I confessed. “What if my father wasn’t lying about everything? What if Cassiusdidenchant me or used some sort of magic to trick me into loving him? I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m just so tired. Please, as my friend, tell me if this is a cruel trick. I cannot survive another betrayal from Cassius.”
Haden’s blue eyes scanned over my face, and I could see the pity he had for me.
“Cassius loves you.” Haden frowned. “And I think that you still love him too, despite everything he’s done to you. I think that deep inside your broken mind, you remember why he did what he did, and your heart just can’t hate him. Your heart knows that he never betrayed you.”
Haden was right in so many ways. I couldn’t hate him, not really. And I didn’t understand why. I sniffed and wiped my nose on my sleeve, then leaned in and hugged Haden. A moment later, someone cleared their throat behind us. When I turned around, Cassius was looking at us. Haden stood up quickly, muttering something about being a dead man.
“I came to check on her and scared her. I was trying to help calm her down,” he said defensively, his hands in the air to show he meant no harm.
Cassius’ black eyes stared at me relentlessly.
“That isn’t your job, Haden. It’s mine,” Cassius whispered. “I get to comfort her,” he said in a slightly injured tone.
“I’ll leave,” Haden sighed heavily.
Cassius kept staring at me, and I couldn’t look at him.
“I’m glad to see you out of bed, but I wish it was me that could have convinced you, not Haden.”
“He didn’t convince me. I was already up watching the rain, but he startled me, and... well, he tried to help me.”
“And did he? Help you, I mean.” Cassius glanced over me as if he were looking for something that had been missing for a long time.
“Yes.”
Cassius swallowed hard and finally glanced away from me.
“Is that what you need? Someone who is not me to help you. If it is, I will have Haden come back.”
When I glanced at him, he was staring at me with a longing that made me sad to see. He looked at me like he loved me, so why couldn’t my mind convince me I was safe? I realized I needed to hear it from him. I needed Cassius to tell me he didn't do all of this because he used me. My mind was confused because it wanted reassurance fromhim.
“Did you enchant me when we were enemies? My father told me I came here as a spy for Cerithia, and you used magic to make me fall in love with you. Is that true?”
Cassius stared at me, his face a conflicting mask of emotions.
“Does it feel true?”
I sat silent and thought for a moment before answering. “No, but I feel as if I cannot trust myself to make good judgments anymore.”
“You fell in love with me before you ever came here, and when you came, it was not because your father sent you. I took you as a prisoner when you refused to admit you wanted me. You thought we couldn’t be together because our families were enemies. Irefused to let that be our fate, so I took you.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. “You hardly protested. Especially after you found out your father had been slaughtering elite magic fae instead of enlisting them in the armies, like he told you he had been. Youchoseto be here with me.”
There were so many questions I had about what he just said.
“You kidnapped me.”
“Technically...” he frowned. “But it sounds bad when you don’t have the context of our history.” He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration, like he was saying all the wrong things.
“So, I wasn’t a spy.”