Page 81 of Secrets & Curses of Cerithia

“Thea, you didn't want to go back. That was all I needed to hear from you. You are where you belong."

“They have Sybil's family. They have all of their families, and now they will be slaughtered because you took me!"

"That is why you thought you had to go back," he said with a frown. Cassius moved toward me, but I stepped backward. "My love, they do not have their families. Most of them left Cerithia and came to Crimson and Falgon. They lied."

Emotions clouded his handsome features.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I would never let them harm elite magic fae or their families."

Relief filled me. It was just another lie. Fuck, I could have stayed and not endured the beating from Jesper. I nodded and stared into his eyes. Gods, I felt like I was home. But my body and mind ached with everything I had been through.

“You must be exhausted. I will have food brought up for you. Rest. Relax. If you need anything, call for me, and I will come immediately.”

I turned away from him and went to the bedroom. My eyes took in the space, and I felt like the walls were closing in. It looked just as it did when I left. I spotted a piece of paper on his bedside table and walked to it cautiously. It was the note I had scribbled before I left to get the bloodstone. My chest felt heavy after seeing it again. Being here was not easy. The memories of Cassius clouded my mind.

I stripped my ruined dress off and stood in the hot shower for a long time, trying not to think of anything. I didn’t want to feel at all right now. I wanted all my memories to disappear again so I didn't have to remember what Jesper and my family had done to me. Cassius had saved me, but what happened when he didn't return me?

I shook the thoughts away and wrapped myself in a towel. Once I found clothing to sleep in, I hurried into the bed. It was so large that I could stretch out in it comfortably.

I looked at the ceiling and saw no cracks or nails sticking out. Then I fell asleep.

Chapter 25

Ihadn’t left the bedroom in days. Exhaustion plagued my every waking moment. I thought I had been resilient during my time at Cerithia, that nothing had broken me while I was there. But being here made me realize how truly broken I had become. My nights were sleepless, memories of Jesper beating me haunted me, and my mind constantly made up new scenarios of what would happen to me when I had to go back.

I couldn’t go back. Tears filled my eyes and streamed down my face silently as I lay in bed. Emotions flooded me every time I opened my eyes, and trauma haunted me when I closed them. I couldn’t get any relief. I couldn’t stand to feel this way. A loud sob escaped me as I buried my face into the pillow. I did not know how I could survive this.

“Little viper.” I jumped when his voice whispered.

I sat up in bed and refused to look at him. My face was wet and was surely a mess from nonstop crying. My hands tried to wipe the wetness and snot away, like he wouldn’t be able to tell.I could feel him staring at me with worry. I was broken. Could they see it just by looking at me?

“You haven’t eaten anything.”

“I’m not hungry.”

He was silent, but I could still feel his presence in the room. I stared at the dark green comforter and tried to block out the racing thoughts. Flashes of Jesper cutting me invaded my mind, and I flinched at the intrusion. I didn’t know trauma could hurt worse in the aftermath than it did in the moment.

“Does anything sound good?” he finally spoke. “Whatever it is, we can make it or get it.”

“I’m tired,” I sighed and laid back down, pulling the thick comforter over my face.

“You’ve been sleeping for days. I’m worried,” he said, his voice laced with concern. “You’re losing weight.”

“I didn’t ask you to worry. I’m not your burden.”

Silence.

I wanted him to know that, though Cerithia had been physical torment, Crimson was emotional and mental torment. I didn’t know which was worse.I thought I could forgive Cassius after everything I learned, but I was still angry. He should have told me instead of letting my father tell me. My darkness was frozen inside of me. She was not shielding me from all the pain, hurt, and anger I had. Even when I begged my darkness to take away the emotions, she ignored me.

I felt the bed dip down somewhere in the direction I was facing. Part of me almost told him to leave, but a bigger part of me relaxed. I wasn’t so lonely now. As if he had been expecting me to react, he waited a moment before the bed shifted again as he lay down.

I closed my eyes and felt exhaustion, forcing me into a nightmare I didn’t want to live in.

Jesper always looked the same in my nightmares. The cold, unforgiving face when he carved into my skin in the dungeon was the only expression there.

My eyes looked at all the blood on the ground as my stomach bled and bled. Then suddenly, Jesper was holding me, forcing my face to look into the mirror and see the words carved there. I tried to close my eyes but couldn’t. Please stop. I don’t want to remember this. Then I saw something reflecting in the mirror from a dark corner of the room. Golden eyes.

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