Page 118 of Secrets & Curses of Cerithia

“I can’t.” I fell back onto the bed and stared at Haden’s concerned face. “I cannot stop thinking of her dying in my arms,” I confessed.

Haden frowned as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “I think about it too,” he said. “But she wouldn’t want us torturing ourselves.”

I knew he was right, but I still felt angry and wanted everyone to be angry like I was, so I lashed out at him.

“You don’t understand. You didn’t lose the woman you love!” I yelled so loudly that the walls seemed to shake with my wrath.

Haden looked at me. Something passed over his features that I couldn’t decipher. “Maybe the woman I love isn’t dead, but I still lost her.” Haden glanced away from me. Gods, I was a fucking prick. “But I know what it’s like to long for someone you can’t have, to miss someone so desperately that you find it impossible to breathe.”

“I didn’t know you loved anyone,” I muttered, feeling like a complete asshole.

“I loved Della with everything I had, and she betrayed me.” Haden glanced at me with a sad smile.

“Della?” I sat up a little more. “As in Ardella, the Goddess of Life?”

“Yes,” Haden sighed. “Even though she isn’t dead, she might as well be because I can never have her. I can never forgive her, but this longing for her will not go away.” I stared at Haden as he seemed lost in a bad memory. How the fuck did Haden fall in love with a goddess? I rubbed my eyes as I shifted to sit next to him on the edge of the bed.

“One day, I expect you to tell me how you and Della came to know each other.”

Haden nodded as both of us stared at the wall, thinking about the women we loved, aware that we couldn’t do anything to bring them back at the moment. But Thea would be coming for the trials soon if all went according to plan. That was enough to motivate me to get up and put on my uniform. Haden smiled brightly as he followed me out of the room.

“Thea will be breaking her curse this time. I need to be ready to help her in any way I can, and I can’t do that by rotting away in bed,” I said to Haden.

“Let’s get ready to break this curse.” He smiled as he patted my shoulder. “I know it’s hard, but you’ve got me. I’ll do anything for you. You gave me a reason to live when you approached me during the trials. You could have killed me, but for one, I can’t die, and for two, you took a chance on me. I’m grateful for you and Thea.”

I stopped mid-stride and glanced at Haden. “What do you mean you can’t die?” I asked.

“Della cursed my soul, too. I can’t die.” He shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal. “It’s a long story.”

“You know that I’ll always be here to listen if you need it,” I said.

“I know, man, but first, let’s save our girl.” Haden mocked me with the taunt he used during the trials to piss me off. "Just kidding." He smiled brightly.

?????

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing Thea was next to me. I thought of all the things we would do once she broke the curse. I looked forward to simply sleeping beside her, rubbing my hands along her soft skin, and hearing her voice. She always used to tell me stories as we lay awake at night. I could listen to her talk forever and never tire of the sound.

Cassius? Cassius, my love?Her voice called into my mind, and I instantly closed my eyes, going to her in her dream.

My heart ached as I watched her wander the woods of Exile, as if she were searching for something or... someone. Nearly every dream she had was of her wandering, looking completely lost. Her pretty, moss-colored eyes stared directly into the shadows where I hid. I smiled softly.

My wife could sense me nearby but didn’t know who I was. Her head tilted to the side, causing her dark hair to tumble over her shoulder. Gods, she was breathtaking.

“I can see you,” she muttered.

I froze. She didn’t often see me in her dreams, and when she did, she never seemed to remember me.

“Come out, coward.”

A soft chuckle escaped me, and she stilled at the sound. I stepped out of the shadows and watched her eyes trace over me, as they always did when she saw me. I could see her pupils dilate, her breathing becoming shallow. I never tired of seeing her reaction to me for the first time. I smiled at her, and she smiled back as if she couldn’t help it. A moment later, she took a hesitant step toward me.

“Are you what I’ve been looking for?” she whispered.

Her words made my throat tighten with emotion. Yes. I’m what you’re missing. She slowly raised her hand to my face, tracing over my jaw and lips. She had done this each time I saw her in her dreams. She never remembered me. This had never happened before, and it terrified the hell out of me. What if she remembered nothing about me when she left Exile this time?

I gripped her hand and kissed her palm, just as I had done all those years ago on the blood moon.

“Your eyes…” She stared into them intensely. “They’re so familiar.”

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