Page 83 of Hero for the Holidays

“Yes,” he said, the word nearly feral.

“We shouldn’t touch each other.”

“No one’s touching anyone,” he said.

“No. Because that would be a bad idea,” she said.

“It would be a very bad idea.”

She was so turned on and she couldn’t see straight. She wanted to stay with him, and she wanted to leave, and she could tell by the glint in his eye that he was caught between the same competing needs. To go satisfy himself, and to marinate in this moment.

It was not ideal.

“I guarantee you,” he said. “That when I come tonight it’s going to be better than any of the sex I’ve had in thirteen years.”

“Except no one will get hurt.”

“Yeah.”

Were they lying to themselves?

Sheknewthey were.

Why was she drawn to him like this? Why did she want him like this? Why couldn’t it be someone else? Anyone else. Sawyer Garrett was hot. And yes, he was married now, but it could’ve been him. It could’ve been any number of hot men on the ranch. It could’ve been some of the ranch hands. Men from town. But no one had ever gotten her going the way that Landry did.

It was easy for her to marinate on the emotional scars that he’d left behind. The truth was, she’d done a lot of that. She thought a lot about the feelings. Because thinking about the sex was dangerous. Thinking about the feelings made her want to run from him and never speak to him. It made her want to never reconcile with him.

Thinking about the sex? That made things feel a lot more questionable.

It made her feel a lot weaker.

It made her feel a lot more susceptible to making very poor decisions.

Because she was only a woman after all. A flesh and blood woman looking at the finest damned man she’d ever seen in her life.

And she knew full well it was about more than just the physical shape of his face—though it was perfect—or his body, though that was perfect too. She knew full well it was chemistry. Strong, undeniable chemistry that they could not reason on out or rationalize.

Which was really damned annoying.

“I’m going to go,” she said.

“Text me,” he said.

“Okay.”

She drove home, and then she followed his explicit instructions, shuddering out his name when she came.

And then she did in fact text him.

Fuck you.

Good girl.

She shoved her phone under her pillow, and pretended that she was awash only in shame. And not excitement. Not the greatest sexual peak she’d experienced in years.

There was no room in her life for this right now. This was a one-off. Everything between them had to be about Lila. It was the only thing that would work.

They had just been talking about their families tonight. Lila could never feel insecure the way that they had. She could never feel like the kid that Fia had been. That peacekeeper trying to move back and forth between two parents who just hated each other.

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