Standing next to the horse now, he looked at ease. In his natural element. And he was showing her, in a thousand different ways, that he was actually an amazing father.
Maybe he would’ve been a good one the whole time.
Maybe the problem was you.
That hurt. Jabbed her unexpectedly.
She had told him that she was good with complicated emotions. But there were some that she didn’t like.
“It’s a great day,” she said, overly cheerful.
“Yeah,” said Landry, looking at her with a funny expression on his face. “Great.”
Probably because he could tell that she was being overly bright for some reason. But didn’t quite know why.
She mounted her own horse, and they began to ride in single file.
Lila, for her part, was looking excited, all around. “I’m actually doing it,” she said. “I’m actually riding a horse.”
“Yeah, you are,” said Fia, feeling exceptionally proud.
Of all the things this girl had been through. Of all the things she had overcome. She was resilient.
She’s like you.
The unexpected nice thought about herself nearly sent her tumbling off her horse.
Maybe that was true. Maybe she had given her daughter something of herself other than that stubborn chin, her hair color and her eyes.
Maybe she got some resilience from her.
And what she really hoped was that Lila would never need that resilience because of her and Landry. Because God knew they’d both had to be resilient, in part because of their parents.
The scenery around them was beautiful. Familiar, but it made her ache every time.
There was something complicated about being a Sullivan. There always would be. Because her family legacy was this land. But it was also the people. Who had been imperfect. Difficult.
“Our families founded this ranch in the 1800s,” said Fia. “All together. And there have been a lot of different stories on this land. A lot of failures. A lot of triumphs. But it keeps going. It always keeps going.”
“Landry told me his ancestors were gamblers,” Lila said.
Fia looked over at Landry. “They were indeed.”
“How come your parents aren’t here?” Lila asked.
Fia looked at the scenery a bit more determinedly. “My dad moved to California. He wanted to live at the beach. He wanted to live with a woman who wasn’t my mom. There have been several other women since then. My mom ended up moving to Hawaii. She kind of lives in a commune? I don’t know. She’s happy. Actually, she’s happier now than I’ve ever known her to be.”
That had always made her feel a little bit torn. That her mom was happiest away from her kids. But the fact was, she just didn’t love the ranch. She never had.
“The ranch was my dad’s,” Fia continued. “The name was my dad’s. She couldn’t bear to still be here, living a life she hadn’t chosen. But Rory, Quinn and I, it’s in our blood. We love it. Alaina loves it too, but Gus is in her blood a lot more than this place. She’s a McCloud now.”
Landry looked behind her. “I guess that’s another problem we had. I never could’ve made you a King.”
He was teasing, but it made her chest feel sore. “Sullivan through and through,” she said.
He must’ve seen something in her eyes, something that made him want to look away, because then he did.
She tried to breathe past the tightness in her chest.