Page 139 of Fierce-Zander

“Maybe not as much as I should have. Could be I haven’t found the person I wanted to with it. That falls on me, but the relationships failing or not working out still stung when women told me I was selfish.”

It was the first time he was saying any of this.

If she continued to be professional and not address him personally for his apology it was going to be hard to continue.

She didn’t.

She got up and sat next to him on the couch.

She grabbed his hand. “Why haven’t you said this before?”

“Do you accept my apology?” he asked first.

“Of course,” she said. “I should have led with that and maybe I was being petty. I’ve had a couple of bad days and nights trying to figure this thing out with us.”

“You want to figure it out and make it work?”

“Yes,” she said. “Part of why I went into this career was because my parents just gave up. They didn’t even try. And to find out how stupid it was for them to walk away from marriage now only ticked me off more. I’d never walk away, but that didn’t mean we both didn’t need some time to figure it out.”

“You left it in my court,” he said. “I know. I guess I might not have been ready to talk before now anyway. I needed to calm down and you’ve admitted that you lock things up to stay grounded too. You’ve been more open with me than I’ve been with you.”

“I want you to know that I wouldn’t have waited much longer. How strong we feel about each other doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s still new between us. We are navigating a lot and this is one of those things.”

“We’ve fought before,” he said.

“We have, but not like this. This is more important. It’s not a fight about an individual action or a dislike. This is about feelings and taking others' opinions and thoughts into consideration. Serious thoughts and opinions. You made a decision and didn’t talk to me about it. I didn’t argue with you over the cameras completely because I was being reasonable. But…” She held her hand up when he went to interrupt her. “I would have liked you to have asked me first. That we could have talked it over and you would have found out if I had any fears over why I didn’t want them. Or what I might personally be feeling over this whole situation. Did it ever occur to you that I let you stay at the house the whole weekend even though we didn’t talk? I did that because it made us both feel better. Youwere the one not talking and if you weren’t so stubborn we could have bypassed all of this.”

“I’m sorry again,” he said. “I didn’t realize that. I saw the letter and threat and reacted.”

“You did. You didn’t let me explain why I wasn’t as fearful as you in that moment.”

“But you are nervous?” he asked. It just occurred to him that she’d wanted him to stay. She just said that. Which would be the reason she wasn’t afraid.

“I’d be stupid not to be concerned, nervous or fearful. You know those things. But my level of concern and yours are different. I know my clients. I’m a good judge of character. I don’t see anyone that I feel is extremely violent. And trust me when I tell you that Miles and I have been going through everyone.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” he said.

“You didn’t ask or give me a chance to.”

“It might not be a client of yours,” he said. “Did you think of that? Maybe it’s an ex of someone you see that isn’t happy. They could think you are turning someone against them. Or maybe it has to do with Sophia.”

“I’ve thought of all of that,” she said. “If you talked to me about it, we could have discussed it without me giving names and I could have relieved your mind.”

“You don’t think it’s either of them?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, rubbing his arm. “I’m being honest. Nothing is coming to me right now. Nothing to Miles either. But I don’t believe I’m in serious danger. If I jump every time someone is mad at me or sends me a letter or email in their emotional state then I can’t effectively do my job. Can’t you see my side of it?”

Something he hadn’t thought of, but she had brought it up more than once.

“I can now,” he said.

“This is why people have to talk it out,” she said. “If you’re the type of person who needs some time to figure out your next move or what you need to say, then tell me that right now. I’ll honor it and not push you.”

She was the one being reasonable. Maybe she was doing that because she didn’t know enough about him and if he needed the time he had.

He did lick his wounds more than figure out exactly what to say.

“I might need it at times. And if I do, I’ll tell you that.”

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