Page 16 of The Satyr's Wood

He pinned her with a hard look. “Be certain of this. It will change how you see me—how you feel around me.”

That sounded ominous but she was there with him, living with him and enjoying his protection. It didn’t seem right for her to just blithely continue on ignorantly when she could help him in some small well with a small part of the emotional burden he carried. Whatever had happened to his flock, it had left deep scars within him.

“I’m certain,” she murmured.

Holding her gaze with his pale eyes, his lips barely moved as he whispered, “I killed them.”

Tiffany stared at him in shock, for a moment certain that she misheard them. Upon realization that she hadn’t, her first impulse was to recoil away from him and put distance between them, but she forced herself to remain still as she worked through it in her mind.

“Okay.” The word left her in a drawn-out whisper as her stomach threatened to heave. The male she had spent weeks with had killed not only one person but many from the sound of it. He was a murderer. “You killed your entire family.”

His lips twitched and lifted into a sad smile that was more of a grimace. “You are afraid now.”

She shook her head but immediately followed it with an uncertain shrug. “I don’t know. I mean, yes... maybe. You just admitted to killing them.”

“It was the only way I could save them,” he rasped. “I was the strongest, the king of my flock and I think that is the only reason I escaped the taint... in a matter of speaking,” he added with a humorless laugh as his eyes continued to bore into her eerily. “You don’t know what it is like to spend centuries captured in the belly of a labyrinth, kept alive and driven mad by its spirit until all you knew was the hunger that crawled through you insidiously.”

“A labyrinth,” she repeated, his reaction to her use of the word suddenly becoming clearer.

He nodded grimly. “A place inhabited by a spirit that had developed a lust for death and vengeance. Something which those that lived within it, that survived within the bowels of its deep corridors, carried out for its satisfaction.” A long, weary sigh escaped him and with it she imagined she heard centuries worth of struggle, pain, and sorrow. He did not flinch away,however, as he spoke. “I did terrible things. I feasted on the pain and terror and enjoyed it.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “You see now the monster I truly am. I wasn’t entirely truthful with you before. A satyr enjoys the taste of fear and panic... all in good fun. It is part of our passion and lust for life. And we are lusty,” he added, a dry chuckle following on the heels of his observation.

“Really? I never would have noticed,” she remarked, grasping desperately at humor to alleviate some of the tension tightening between them.

Barbasa laughed again, that time with a touch of genuine humor. It was fleeting, however, and returned to regarding her silently. “But in the heart of the labyrinth we outdid ourselves. We didn’t just frighten them; we tortured them and tore them apart as their screams fell from their bloodied lips. We became true monsters of the sort that even the gods banish to the prisons deep within the earth.”

Clearing her throat, she gestured for him to continue. “So, what you are saying is that you were stuck in hell, and you all went insane...you a bit less, if I understood right. What happened to change that?”

“Yes,” he mumbled, his eyes drifting from her to the fireplace as a distant look came to them as if he were looking back and was no longer in the room with her. “We were delivered a way to escape,” he said slowly. “My kin were wild with their hunger to the point of attacking each other no matter how I attempted to redirect them.” Pain filled his eyes. “Our mates had died within the early years of our captivity, my own Ariana within just months when a small number of centaurs viciously attacked us.”

Tiffany felt her heart break just a little then. There was no room for jealousy. By his own words, it had been centuries ago. But her heart still bled for him for suffering the loss of one he clearly had dearly loved.

He released a quiet, frustrated growl. “I blame that a little on the power of the taint within us as it fed on our grief. The hunger there knew no end no matter how much you filled your belly, and it consumed them. They attacked everything within reach, indiscriminately. And as I watched them, I realized a terrible truth.”

“What was that?”

His gaze shifted back to her and hardened. “I couldn’t let them leave the labyrinth. There was only one way that I could free them that would be merciful to my flock and save them from committing any more horrors, as well as saving the world that they would have escaped into. My flock was filled with cousins, brothers... sons,” he added in a choked voice. “I killed my own two sons while they were busy tearing apart one of the smaller males between them, his flesh filling their mouths.”

Bile rose thickly in her throat and Tiffany felt like she was going to be sick. Understanding flickered in his eyes and he wearily dropped his head, his double pairs of horns suddenly seeming very much like the weight of a heavy crown. His eyes pinching tightly closed against the chaos of his grief, he shuddered with unspent grief. He was still being tortured by it. Though he had clearly loved his flock, that love had forced him to destroy them. They had become true monsters... nightmares and horrors. And he carried that with him still. The guilt of a father and king who had stepped with them into the darkness and had been the sole survivor of it.

Scooting closer, she gave his hand a squeeze and leaned into his arm in a physical offering of comfort. His eyes dropped down to her and some of the chilliness left them.

“Are you not afraid, little human?” he rasped. “I am not cured. There is no real cure for the taint of the labyrinth. I am still infected with it. It waits and lurks within me like a spider on its web.”

“And it hasn’t hurt me yet,” she countered.

If he was going to try to use that to scare her away, it wasn’t going to work. She would have felt it within him—she was certain of it.

His lips slowly curled in response. “It is more likely to try to devour any threat that comes to you. I fear it has burrowed so deep into my instincts that it has struck a claim upon you.”

A shiver ran through her as she experienced the sort of awe that she imagined came with knowing that someone had access to that sort of power. Whatever lived within Barbasa would destroy everything to keep her safe and she couldn’t deny that there wasn’t an appeal to all of that.

“And what of you?” she whispered.

Leaning forward, he bent his forehead down to hers to press their brows gently together as he threaded his free hand through her hair. “I had my claim on you from the first,” he rasped. “Never have I felt such a powerful pull since Ariana. I would gladly let the taint consume me and bring down the world should anything happen to you.”

Tiffany dropped her head to his shoulder and soaked in the feeling of his solid presence beside her. “I would gladly help you tear it all apart if it came right down to it.” She swallowed. “And I think I would like to claim you in turn.”

His hand tightened on hers and he pressed his lips to her head, the bit of beard on his chin surprisingly soft as it brushed the bridge of her nose. “There’s no rush, Tiffany. When you are ready, you will know. In the meantime, I am here, however you want me,” he murmured.

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