Page 68 of Faking the Play

I dashed the tears from my cheeks with the heels of my hands and steeled myself to refuse again. This time, I decided on some brutal honesty.

It hurts too much.

Leaving my phone on my desk so I didn’t have to deal with more messages asking me to come see them, I gathered up my shower things and headed down to the showers. I passed a few people as I went, but kept my eyes straight ahead, not wanting to prompt anyone to talk to me, either about the guys, the game, or the giant stuffed panda. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the bathroom without having to stop, and I allowed myself the indulgence of a shower that was a little longer than usual, letting the heat ease the tension in my muscles and the white noise fill my head.

By the time I left the bathroom to go back to my room, I was more relaxed than I had been in a while—since before that last time I’d been with the guys when everything had fallen apart.

I was halfway down the hallway when I noticed a handful of people standing near my door. Still toweling off my hair, I approached the group and politely asked to be let through. When the people in front of me moved, I finally saw what had caused the group to gather.

Piled up in front of and next to my door was…well, a hell of a lot of stuff.

A basket with my apples-and-cinnamon scented shampoo, soap, and lotion.

Two unopened boxes with my name on the top.

A vase full of daisies.

Lots of chocolate.

A hardcover anniversary edition ofThe Princess Bridethat the guys and I had talked about last month.

Heat flooded my face and I quickly slid my keycard through the electronic lock and went inside.

“I’m going to get this stuff in a minute,” I said to the people staring at me. Then I closed the door and took a minute to gather myself.

What the hell were they doing? I knew Logan had money from his parents, but I’d never cared about that. Except, as I quickly opened the door and pulled things inside just to get them away from prying eyes, I realized that the things they’d sent were personal. Reminders of how well they knew me.

Which still didn’t explain the giant stuffed panda.

Except…as I started finding places to put all those things, I realized that I did understand the panda. When we were in fourth grade, we went on a field trip to the Denver Zoo, and I was upset because we weren’t able to see pandas, so Logan took the money his parents gave him and bought me a large stuffed panda. Not as big as the one currently staring at me, but big enough to make an impression on everyone.

And I still had it.

When we had our falling out back then, a few things had been too precious for me to throw away, no matter how much it hurt to see them, and that panda had been one of them. Right now, it sat in a plastic tote in my childhood closet.

I pulled myself out of the past and focused on the things they’d given me now. Each one had a note with the same words.

We’re so sorry. We were so wrong.

What none of them said was what had changed their minds.

I supposed that what had happened to Logan and Ryan could’ve made them rethink their lives, but these weren’t “we might’ve been wrong and we should talk” notes. Every bit of communication from them made it sound like they nowknewthat I hadn’t slept with Jason.

The door opened and my shoulders slumped as Megan walked in. She hadn’t really been around much over the last couple weeks, which I appreciated, but I didn’t feel like dealing with her any more right now than I had before. But then I saw the expression she wore and it gave me pause.

She was pale, her face devoid of makeup and her hair looking like she’d barely brushed it. She wore sweats and a hoodie that had the sort of rumpled look that came with clothes having been slept in.

“Can we talk?”

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m really not in the mood to go over everything that happened, okay? I don’t give a damn that you slept with Jason.”

“It’s not about that,” she said. “And I’m pretty sure you’re never going to forgive me for this.”

Opening my eyes, I saw an expression of such guilt that my stomach twisted ominously. “Sit and talk.”

She perched on the edge of her bed, waiting until I sat down in my desk chair and turned to face her.

“Jason told me that Logan, Ethan, and Ryan were responsible for getting him expelled and he needed to find the proof so he could get the decision reversed.”

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