Page 77 of The Butterfly Killer

For some god awful reason, he trusted his safety with Roman. After what happened with Michael, you’d think he’d hold the same level of fear between the two.

The shakes that started in just his hands had moved up his arms and were now in his shoulders. They intensified, goingdown his nerves to the rest of his body like a virus taking hold of him. He began to rock back and forth on the steps.

The one detail he’d blocked from his mind was the fact Michael was still out there. His presence, his touch, and the threat of him finding Marcus again hadn’t taken precedentbecausehis mind had been on Roman alone. However, the more he began to trust Roman the more room was made for Michael’s memory to seep in.

Marcus hadn’t known there was a gaping wound in his mind from the ordeal but now the symptoms were starting to show.

His breath quickened. His throat tightened and his chest felt heavy. It felt like someone had their foot on his chest and was pressing down.

“Marcus?”

Roman sounded far away. He sat the axe down and started toward Marcus.

Marcus tried to pull himself out of the spiraling thoughts and fear. He was too weak. He was too susceptible and wasn’t that the reason why he was here? He had fallen into Roman’s trap just like he’d fallen into Micheal’s. And if he escaped Roman, who could say Michael wouldn’t be there waiting for him?

Roman was crouching in front of him now. Still, he felt so far away, out of arm’s reach, and Marcus was just barely holding himself above water. He was drowning in a abyss of his own fear. He was wading through sludge reflecting all his lost hopes and dreams—the lives he once lived including the one where his mom was still alive.

The shakes turned into violent sobs. The tears were uncontrollable. They stung his eyes which in turn made him cry more.

“Hey. I’m going to touch you, okay? Nod your head if that’s okay.”

Marcus didn’t hesitate before he was frantically nodding his head.

Roman didn’t just put his hand on Marcus’s shoulder or on his thigh. He sat next to him on the step and pulled him into the biggest bear hug he’d ever experienced in his life.

The firm way Roman held him to his chest was so comforting that it unleashed a whole new set of sobs. He didn’t care to hold them back. To save some face, he hid in Roman’s chest, pressing further into the man’s safe arms.

Roman rubbed his back up and down. He massaged at the tension in his shoulders and a little at the back of his neck.

Roman didn’t rush him. He let him have his moment. He didn’t complain that his arms were getting tired or that Marcus’s weight on his leg was becoming painful. Not even the tightness of his hug lessened.

Marcus took advantage of it. He’d been bottling up his emotions this entire time and even before Roman kidnapped him. It seemed like everything he’d been holding in since his mom’s murder was coming out. He was like a demon being exorcised. He already knew he was going to feel like shit afterward.

However, as his sobs died down, he didn’t feel like shit. In fact, he felt rejuvenated.

He equated it to throwing up. He hated doing it, but when he was sick, puking always made him feel better.

The comparison made him laugh. It wasn’t much of a laugh. More so a cough.

The humor tasted foul in his mouth. The laugh died before it could truly start and he went still.

Roman felt the rigidness, his hands slowed their stroking, but he didn’t stop which Marcus was glad for. He did wiggle in Roman’s lap, requesting for Roman to keep his massaging up. Roman complied, rubbing Marcus’s back as he’d been doing.

Marcus let out a heavy sigh. His eyes had closed, having done so during his sobbing, and he wished he didn’t have to open them again for a long time. He blocked out the outside world which eased him out of the panic attack.

Still, he didn’t want to come out of this safe place. As safe as being in a serial killer’s arms could be.

He gave himself another minute before he rose his head. He wiped his face of his tears and then his nose. He felt gross doing it, but he wasn’t trying to be attractive even if Roman had no trouble getting off to him.

“I’m fine now.”

He was trying to get away, but his body wanted to be closer to Roman. His body was one magnet and Roman was the other half. The more he tried to get away the harder it became to do just that.

“Are you now?” Roman’s voice dipped into something low. His arms were still wrapped around Marcus, holding him firmly, but it wasn’t like Marcus couldn’t get himself out of it. The problem being that he didn’t want to get himself out of it.

Marcus shivered. The shake was obviously felt by Roman. His brows pinched.

“What happened?” The concern coming from him was disorientating. His arms tightened much harder around Marcus. This time, it might prove difficult to get out of the hold.

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