Page 42 of His Hidden Royal Heirs

“He is the children’s father, Beau,” Zia said, and if it sounded like she was trying to convince herself, well, so be it. “That means something.”

“Why?” Beau flopped onto her back. “I’d rather go through the rest of my life without dealing withourfather.”

“Cristhian isn’t like him.”

“He’s forcing you to marry him.”

“He...” Well, hewasdoing that, so how could she feel the need to defend him? After that beautiful moment of seeing their children, listening to their heartbeats, coming together again... He’d insisted on marriage. Without any care or concern about her.

He’d brought her parents here against her will.And insisted Beau come along, too. He’d once said he’d like to meet Beau because of the picture Zia painted.

Zia closed her eyes. She’d rather just sleep it all away. Wake up and maybe she’d have some new grand understanding of what was going on inside her.

“Zia, do you have feelings for him?” Beau asked carefully.

Zia wanted to deny it. She even opened her eyes and then her mouth, sure she could get the words out. But none came.

He was so very heavy-handed. So certain he knew what was right. Controlling.

And sometimes, she saw flashes of why. A boy who’d lost his parents at a young age, been thrust into someone else’s world. He was trying to make his own world where he could never be upended again.

And she’d upended him. The children had upended him. But he hadn’t gone to sleep and hoped it would all be better in the morning. He’d made decision after decision. Wrong decisions at times, but wasn’t that better than her? Letting everyone else make the decisions for her.

Even when she’d first found out she was pregnant, she’d let Beau take the reins. Beau had planned her escape, essentially, and kept her going.

Cristhian hadn’t disowned his soon-to-be children. Hadn’t marched her back to Lille and her father, even though that’s what he’d been hired to do. No, he’d taken control of that situation by insisting they work together. Put the children first.

Was that really as bad as she was making it out to be? When he also made her heart hammer in her chest? When there was this physical chemistry that made every rational thought leave her?

Shouldn’t shewantto put the children above herself, like her mother never had? And wouldn’t having two parents be better than...a mother who’d run away from their father? A mother who’d had notonegood example of what being a good parent looked like, when their father had many?

It was enough to make her want to go to Cristhian and the minister right now and sayI do.

But she was so worried she would become like her own mother. A shell of a person living only for the king. Or, in this case, Cristhian andhisdecisions.

And still... “I suppose I do have some sort of feelings for him,” she said after a while, choosing each word carefully. “I’m not sure what they are. They’re so jumbled. I’m so angry at him for pushing this marriage nonsense, and yet... I think... He speaks of his parents so...lovingly.”

Zia swallowed. Beau was the only one in her whole life she could be fully honest with. Because Beau was honest back. Too blunt about it sometimes, but still. No games. No machinations.Real.

“It makes me think he knows what it takes to be a good parent, and that he’ll be one. Maybe I need that.”

“You’ll be a good parent.”

Beau said it with such confidence, but Zia had almost none. The closer she got to actually bringing them into the world, the more she worried how she would ever be the kind of mother that inspired the kind of feelings Cristhian had for his own. “How can you be so sure?”

“If you think he will be a good one because he had a good example, by the same logic, you will be a good one because you will know to do the opposite of our bad example.”

Zia chuckled in spite of herself. It was impossible to argue with Beau’s logic,but... The very simple truth was she did not know the correct course of action beyond what she didnotwant to happen.

Could she run away with Beau, somehow raise two children, free of all the controlling men in her life, and still give everyone what they deserved?

Beau needed freedom, too. She’d been dealing with their parents alone for months now. She deserved her own shot at something besides the palace and overbearing rules.

“We will be together, no matter what I decide. You aren’t going back there. I promise you.”

Beau was quiet for a long minute. “Zia, the truth of it all is, you care deeply about everyone and try to protect them. Maybe too much sometimes, but it is not likeourmother. She is not evil, I know, but the only thing she has ever sought to protect is the peace. Sometimes, you need the fight. Sometimes bendingisn’tthe answer, even if you get crushed.”

Beau’s hand found hers under the covers as she continued. “Those babies are lucky to have you as a mother, no matter what you decide. But I think you need to stop making decisions based on what’s best for me.”

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