Sorry, not sorry, Shrimp.
A few seconds after Johnathan’s last message, Allison’s phone rang. She hesitantly picked it up, hand trembling as she brought it up to her ear.
“Hey, Leo—”
“No. Cut the crap, Allison. Explain everything, now,” her second oldest brother demanded, his voice a mixture of disbelief and anger.
Allison gulped, wishing she could just hit “mute” and pretend this was all a bad dream. Then her phone buzzed again, and she saw a second call coming in from her third brother, Frederick. With a resigned sigh, she added him to the call.
Might as well get it over with.
“Hey, Freddie,” she said weakly, “I’m in the middle of—”
“Middle of what? A disaster?” Frederick interrupted. “Seriously, Allison! Pregnant? How did this happen?”
“I don’t know, okay? It was a one-night stand! I honestly don’t even remember the guy’s name!” she blurted out, her voice rising in panic. “I was just trying to let loose after work, and it was my birthday, and—”
“Let loose?” Leo interjected, incredulous. “This isn’t a game of beer pong! You don’t just let loose and get pregnant!”
Allison rolled her eyes, wishing she could throw her phone out the window. “Well, I did, so here we are! Surprise!”
“Surprise? This is a catastrophe!” Freddie shouted. “You’re twenty-eight and still figuring out what to do with your life. And now you’re going to be a mom? What were you thinking?”
“I don’t know!” she shot back. “If I had known it would lead to this, I would have just stuck to Netflix and ice cream!”
Freddie took a deep breath. “Allison, this is serious. You can’t just ignore this. Are you going to keep it?”
“I don’t know, Fred,” she replied, her own tone rising. “I haven’t gotten that far, yet. I only took the test a few minutes ago.”
“Okay, but you need to figure out how you’re going to tell Dad,” Leo said, sounding less angry and more like a concerned parent himself. “This isn’t something you can hide.”
“Right, because I’m sure he’ll be thrilled,” Allison scoffed. “He’s literally going to murder me.”
“Okay, let’s focus,” Freddie said, trying to regain control of the situation. “Have you thought about how you’re going to manage this? Work, life?”
“I can barely manage cooking, and now I have to think about a tiny human?” she lamented. “I’m not even sure how to take care of a cactus!”
Leopold sighed, the tension slowly easing. “Look, you might have made some poor choices, but we’re family. We can sort this out together.”
“I’m not ready to be a parent,” she whispered, reality sinking in. “I mean, I don’t even remember the guy! What if he’s a serial killer or something?”
Leo was quiet for a moment before he finally said, “If he’s a serial killer, we’ll deal with it. Just know we’re here for you, no matter what.”
“Really?” Allison felt a glimmer of hope. “You guys will help?”
“Of course!” Frederick chimed in. “We’ll throw you a baby shower with an open bar…for the adults, of course.”
Allison chuckled nervously. “I’m not sure that’s how baby showers work, but I appreciate the thought.”
“Plus, we’ll start a GoFundMe for the kid’s therapy sessions,” Leo added, trying to lighten the mood. “You know, for growing up with a mom who got pregnant from a one-night stand and can’t remember the dad.”
“Gee, thanks for that,” Allison said, feeling the pressure start to lift. “At least I know I have backup for the inevitable awkward conversations.”
“Always,” Leo said firmly. “Just don’t expect us to babysit every weekend.”
“Deal,” she replied, a smile creeping onto her face. “But if you do, you’re getting stuck with diaper duty.”
“Ugh, fine. But only if you promise not to name the baby after me,” Fred said, now sounding supportive. “How about something cool, like…Batman?”