Page 64 of Not Your Ordinary Shifter

“I… I’m not sure. It can be lonely. Being human is lonely too, but at least I can talk to people. When I’m a swan it’s just me. I love being free from everything, but after a while it starts to feel isolated.” She shrugged.

“Makes sense, but with a mate you—” He cut himself off, not wanting to ruin the mood.

“Yeah, about the mate thing. It seems pretty serious, but I still don’t know what it means.”

“It’s a strong bond that ties us together, usually for life.” He hesitated and then added, “Though it can be broken if necessary.” It wasn’t fair to keep that from her no matter how reluctant he was to give her an out. “And like I said, if we separate now, eventually it will wither away.”

She blew out an exasperated breath. “But what causes it? What does it mean for me, for us? It can’t be love. We don’t even know each other.”

Yet.

“It’s not love but it grows into that pretty quickly in most cases. Even people who hate each other—” He paused to give her a significant look, which she returned coolly. “Things usually work out for them once the bond settles in.”

“But why? And why us? Look, all I know is I can’t get you out of my head. Even when I’m asleep you’re there.” Her words were rushed and ragged, demanding answers.

“No one knows what causes a mating bond to happen. It just… does. But the fact that it works out most of the time, probably means that whatever the surface problems are, underneath you were always compatible.” He laughed, shrugging, “You probably would have liked me if the mating bond hadn’t kicked in and made me act like a weirdo. I don’t normally have issues with?—”

“Women?” She squinted at him.

“I was going to say ‘people’, but I’ll admit I did okay with women.” Past tense, because as far as he was concerned, she was now the only woman for him. If she caught the meaning, she didn’t comment on it. After a moment of silence, he continued. “How did you feel about me before the odd stuff?”

She pursed her lips, eyes narrowed. “I guess I thought you were okay.” Then with reluctance, “Cute in a nerdy way.”

Cute wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for, maybe he should go back to wearing contacts. “Cute huh?”

“Well, cute in a sexy way, I suppose.” She looked away.

That was better. “So, we probably would have gotten along fine if we’d met under different circumstances. We just got off to a bad start.” He couldn’t help adding, “Maybe we could start over.”

She wiggled on her rock, sighing. “Like we even have a choice.”

“There is a choice. We can be miserable until the bond eventually goes away. It’s not what I’d prefer, but it’s a choice.”

“What do you want from me, Jacob? I came here to find out who I was, not to jump into a relationship with a man I don’t even know.” She wrapped her arms around herself, staring hard at the water, as if there might be answers out there. “If you want sex, sure. That I can do, willingly, eagerly even, but a relationship is?—”

“Actually, um…” He cleared his throat. “If you want the bond to fade, we uh, can’t do that.”

“Can’t do what? Have sex?” Her head snapped around and she gaped at him.

“Having sex in human form will make it permanent—well, nearly permanent. It could still be broken but it’s painful and complicated after it’s, uh, consummated.”

“Uh, consummated,” she said, mimicking his tone. “Are you serious? So the stupid bond makes me incredibly horny for you, but if I have sex with you, I’m stuck forever?”

One hand went up to rub the back of his neck where the tension was starting to build. “I wouldn’t have put it exactly like that but basically, yeah.”

“So when you said we’d be miserable for a while, you meant we’d be in this constant state of arousal.”

“Yes.”

“And nothing really helps. What if I have sex with other men?”

Something in him clenched tight as a feeling of possessiveness swept over him. He pushed it down, with difficulty, so he could answer her question. Not that she was going to like it. “It won’t help. Like masturbation, it will just take the edge off for a little while. Until the bond is complete it will be like… constant edging and no real release.”

“Fuck. Fuck you and fuck this bond.” She jumped to her feet.

He expected her to run off again, prepared himself for it, but she just began to pace back and forth with quick angry steps. Occasionally she paused to kick at rocks or curse at the water. It wasn’t clear who she was mad at— him, or just at the situation.

When she got closer to the water, he opened his mouth to warn her that the rocks could be incredibly slippery, but it was too late. She swung her leg to kick at something and lost her balance. With frantic windmilling of the arms, she went down hard right where the water met the gravel shore.

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